Dementia Support Group
Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be memory, attention, language and problem solving, although particularly in the later stages of the condition, affected persons may be disoriented in time, place and person (not knowing who they...
...or maybe just an encouraging word...
I really, really, need to complete some paperwork and payments for my mom's long term care...
I received the paperwork, on Wed before Thanksgiving...and I just haven't been able to focus on it enough to complete it...
Everytime I look at it, i get frustrated, angry, and pissed off...at myself. You see by doing this, I feel like I am betraying my Mom...she has dementia... and is no longer the strong, independent, self-sufficient person she was, and it pains me to see her suffering this way...but at the same time, it pains me that I CAN"T TAKE CARE OF HER....but...realistically, I know that I can't ...I can't take care of myself, much less anyone else but logically, that just seems like a betrayal to me...I just can't find it in my heart to make all this caregiving stuff legal....I just don't know what to do...
On Black friday, I received a bill from the NH to the tune of $6K+ for the rest of the year...that bill is due tomorrow!!!!....and I just don't know what to do...well I do know what to do, I just can't bring myself to do it!!!!!!....I don't know why...it's just so hard...and I am basically making myself sick worrying about this crap...instead of just DOING IT...why?
WHY am I putting myself through this and how do I stop and just do what I know I have to do...I've put it off long enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HELP?
I really, really, need to complete some paperwork and payments for my mom's long term care...
I received the paperwork, on Wed before Thanksgiving...and I just haven't been able to focus on it enough to complete it...
Everytime I look at it, i get frustrated, angry, and pissed off...at myself. You see by doing this, I feel like I am betraying my Mom...she has dementia... and is no longer the strong, independent, self-sufficient person she was, and it pains me to see her suffering this way...but at the same time, it pains me that I CAN"T TAKE CARE OF HER....but...realistically, I know that I can't ...I can't take care of myself, much less anyone else but logically, that just seems like a betrayal to me...I just can't find it in my heart to make all this caregiving stuff legal....I just don't know what to do...
On Black friday, I received a bill from the NH to the tune of $6K+ for the rest of the year...that bill is due tomorrow!!!!....and I just don't know what to do...well I do know what to do, I just can't bring myself to do it!!!!!!....I don't know why...it's just so hard...and I am basically making myself sick worrying about this crap...instead of just DOING IT...why?
WHY am I putting myself through this and how do I stop and just do what I know I have to do...I've put it off long enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HELP?
In my experience (and I haven't had to place Dad anywhere) it's so stressful and sad, it becomes overwhelming. I can understand that your situation now is is magnified greatly. Worrying also prevents me from dealing with paperwork, and other day to day things. When I have better days, I do it, and feel better. Breaking it down into smaller tasks helps it become more doable. Good luck in finding the strength and clarity to face the challenges that are very difficult.
I'm still trying...I wasted the whole morning in bed, doing anything but what I have to do...and now, I'm up at the computer instead of just going to get something to eat and finishing and mailing off this paperwork!!!!!! GOD!....why is this so hard!!!! why?!
Some other tricks are a daily organizer so you put things in a day of the month to take care of, folders for "to do" "to file" "to follow up". The more organized you are the more you will accomplish. So sort your mail each day but put it in folders. Then you pull out a folder and take care of just that.
I think we all do this to some degree. The hope is that if we don't do it the problems will go away. You need to accept that you are doing what is best for your mom.
I would recommend the same thing; set up a task list and try to work on the tasks that are necessary for the immediate future and work on other tasks when you're up to it.
I would look at it in terms of it may not necessarily be what you want to have happen but what needs to get done to ensure your mother's is properly cared for. You are allowed a life too!
But if you don't want to go broke better get on the stick!
It can take a very long time to get the ball rolling on any sort of assistance!