Dee -
Dying is part of living. Like anyone with a progressive disease, I have the advantage to be more aware of death than most. It gave me the ability to make those hard decisions now to make my way easier later - for me and my loved ones. It convinced me to mend fences and make peace with others.
Today there are fewer concerns and more time to enjoy. It taught me that too. Enjoy what God gives me...

Dennis

When I was diagnosed in 1999, I ignored the quit smoking orders, then when it got so bad I could not breath and my doctor bluntly said I was dying, it scared the crap out of me and I was crying and all that.

That has been a year or so ago, and I have had time to go thru ll the greaving, like with a death, the crying, anger, denial, ect. COPD is a fatal disease, but it does not have to be a death sentence.

With proper medical care, good nutrition, exercise, and regular doctor visits, and keeping away from large crowds and sick people, a copd person can live a good life,depending on personal circumstances.

You can not cure COPD, but you can slow its progress. Yes, you live..

Not the life you envisioned maybe, and you will have to make some changes in your lifestyle, as well as those those around you will have to adjust to those changes and help you adjust.

But it can be done, and yes we are more aware of death and that we are living on borrowed time.

I am not trying to push my religion on anyone, but it is my personal opinion that God is the ultimate decision maker as to when I will die.

Up until that time, I try to give my family as much love as I can, and try to enjoy each moment I have with them, grandbabies, ect.

You know in this day and age, a 100% healthy young person could walk out the door and die in a heartbeat, by gunfire, driving while texting, or drinking, ect.

Life has no guarentees, and each day God gives me, I am grateful. Looking deah in the face is scary, but it also helps you get your priorities straight, and like DennyGene said, the chance to mend fences, apologize for wrongs, and get your life straight.

A lot of folks do not get that chance, so yes, we go on, each day , and do our best that day, and tonight tell God thank you. After all it is up to Him if I get another day.....Brenda

Everyone has to die and no one knows when,which is why "one day at a time" is such a simple way to get the best out of life, forget about yesterday it is gone forever, dont worry about tommorow it is yet to come, just try to enjoy and get the best that you can out of today.Best wishes to everyone.

bjrapp that was beautiful!!
And so true Only God knows when. This has given me the advantage of making all decision now and not leaving it up to my family.

Dee,
I agree with Dennis and BJrapp2020, the ultimate decision will be made by God, in the mean time we have a wake up call that many are not lucky enough to get. Make peace with those around you and make ammends where necessary and put the rest in God's hands. You can live many happy years. Sounds like you have a wonderful family, enjoy them. Dick

I watched my father rot away with this disease until he was only a shell exisiting on the couch, unable to walk across the room to get to the bathroom. I don't mean to say he didn't have a good life even with COPD as long as he could, but back in the late 80's, the deterioration rate seemed to be much faster than it is with today's technology and drugs. From diagnosis to death for him was less than 3 years.
The last few months, his focus was on painless ways to take his own life with the limited resources at his disposal. In the end, he asked for my assistance to end his suffering. I did what I could before I went to Seattle for an interview and I recieved the call on my second day there that it had worked.
I would hope that should I still be around when my disease has progressed to that point, someone will mix me up the Kool Aid cocktail. Until then, I'm just going to continue to seek out what adventures I can and if I drop along the way, so much the better.

I'm ready to get out of here...............and I can only guess IF there is a big man up there, he just isn't ready for me yet..............damn it!!!!!!!

I say...."Come and get me, we're burning daylight"!!!!!!!!!!!

Brenda you are so right on, with everything you said. I pray a lot and try to get the most out of my time here on this earth. My Achilles heal is my grand kids. You know how children are, with their runny noses and allergies and such, whenever they come for a visit within weeks I have pneumonia. They have been here for over a month and I have a sneaking suspicion that I will have to deal with it again soon. They are leaving on Sunday.

God bless you for your good advice, even for those of us who have our faith and positivity, it can still be a tough road.

I think it all depends on who you are. I have been told several times its not a death sentence if you.....The doctor told me the other day if I.....it can add years to my life.
But for me having already survived so much already I can not wrap my brain around all the do s and do nts. I see it as just living life again in fear.
In the begining I tried ...but when I would hear myself say..."Well cant do that it may trigger a flare up...Well I would love to do that but the air quality is too bad. I simply chose to not live that way. I dont have awsome insurance or an endless wallet to move to a better climate.
I still have a teenage girl at home...At this point I want to do allI can with her while I can.
I have already filled out proper paper work so when its the end its just the end...checked with my minister ...according to them refusing oxygen treatment and a dnr is not suiside so to say.
I have very vivide memories of both my grandparents angry to wake up again and begging for death in the last few months of their lives.
So right now I say quality not quantity . But that may change.
For some reason the human body despite our thought process has a will of its own to do all it can to survive.
Example ...No matter how bad day is going and I just want to go...I will always reach for nitro when after that first chest pain.
No thought process involved just always grab it.
So I say I want nothing but quality of life but....

Damn Dennis, you have a really good attitude. Thank you for sharing it with us. I really like this whole discussion. I'm glad I started it :)
I think my attitude fits closest to StevenHanna and Heartprint. I don't want to be scared. Of course sometimes I am. Mostly I want to be as happy as I can for as long as I can. What was the quote I saw on here "Today you are you that is truer than true There is no one alive who is youer than you." Gotta love Dr. Seuss.
I love this site! Thanks everyone for being such awesome you's and mostly for sharing. Soooo helpful.

Well, this could be a depressing post had we not all been in the same position at some point or will be at some point. But the words and thoughts are honest and that makes it an important subject.

Me, ..... I am not afraid of dying and I will be ready when the time comes. Hope it is quick and neat. :) BUT I will hang around as long as I can manage and I think I will know when the time comes.

If necessary, I will also seek an aid if that is what I need to do.

I definitely willl not seek prolonging with the aid of mechanical means and I think I have all of the proper paperwork to insure this.

Yes, not the lifestyle I envisoned as short a time as 4 years ago but when you suddenly" fall off the train", you pick yourself up, question your sanity for smoking, mourn for the lost llifestyle I could have had or the one that my family has been denied but never deny that it is what it is so just get on with your life.

Anna

Well I am sure to the outsider it may appear depressing ....but like what has been stated before we have the chance to mend fences...and seize all those wonderful moments with loved ones we may have over looked if we thought we always had tomorrow. Once you can get to the other side and past all the stage we go threw our curse so to say can be an amazing blessing that others don't get.
But we are still human so we are bound to lol kick and moan so to say along the way. My favorite saying " I cried because I had no shoes till I saw a man with no feet"
Happy thoughts Happy life.

I like what bjrapp said about the grieving process. I never thought of it that way. I am in the process (however long that is) of losing my best friend - me. That is very helpful.

I try to focus on the fact that I am alive right hear and right now. I try not to look to far into the future. Having lupus and taking a drug that suppresses my immune system to control it leaves me open to infection which is very bad for copd.

When I get scared and think its an impossible situation to be in I try to focus on "alive hear and not".

No body really knows when their going to die. My friend told me when "God wants her he'll call her".

Sorry can't answer the question quantity or quality every time I think one I change my mind as different scenarios run through it. So for now I'm happy not to have to make that decision.

This is good thought provoking discussion thanks for starting it deegran

When I was first dx'd with emphysema, I told myself that I'd do away with myself when it got to the point that I had to be on oxygen all the time. Well, I'm now on oxygen 24/7 but I've certainly changed my mind. I'm not ready to go meet my maker yet. I feel I can still be of use and do some good in this old world, whatever that may be. Of course, I happen to be feeling quite well right now, so that's easy to say. If I was still feeling as rotten as I was the first part of May, my attitude would most likely be completely different. So I guess what I'd have to vote for is quality.