I believe that anger is normal; although I have no idea how to express it in a healthy way. Yes, I am angry at myself for smoking.
Yes, I blame myself for being in this predicament. Sometimes, I feel resentful that others are so mean-----as this is the "smoking disease". That is ignorant. Some of us have genetic component and other causes of COPD/ Emphy. I am one of those. I have multiple reasons for getting this disease.
I even wonder if spending my entire life holding in tears, pain, anger--------and never expressing any of it--------as I was trained
to be tough gal at all times; actually contributed to my smoking and getting disease. I INHALED my feelings with each puff of my
cigarette; instead of every showing or voicing my emotions.

Anger itself can damage ones health. Educate your self on the disease and with your Doctor's help, you will be able to cope better.

Sure I get angry so you'e not an odd ball! As I've tried to say before, it's not only cigarette smoking that causes COPD, so I get really mad when people hold their noses when you tell them you've got emphysema. God, you'd think they pee Eau De Cologne! Yet, no one put a gun to our heads to start smoking so we're as much to blame as everything else.

What really makes me mad is that some people can smoke like chimneys all their lives and don't get sick - I know an old man in his 90's who still smokes and is fit as a fiddle! But then he has crippling arthritis and suffers constant pain! Yeah, genetics definitely plays a huge role in the health package we're dealt. Grrrr, growing old sure ain't fun!

Oh shoot, there's not much use getting angry & bitter 'n twised - like it or not, the disease is in us and we can't curl up in a dark corner and grow mould. Live each day we breathe with deterination to do the best we can with a smile!

Warm {{{{hugs}}}}
Huff.

Only 15-20% of people who smoke get lung disease, so a lot of those people stinking their noses up are probably just lucky:>)

And then there's me...I was not a smoker, although when I was younger I would occassionally bum a cig especially when I drank alcohol. And I also imbibed in a certain non-tobacco cigarette from time to time. But I have not done any of that in 26 years and apart from the drinking...didn't do all that much. And here I am with COPD and the doc has no explanation. I've had genetic test and it's not that. Perhaps I just have crappy lungs and/or what smoking I did do impacted my lungs in an extreme way that would not have bothered others. Dunno...I got all the questions: did you live in an industrial environment, etc. I'm a suburban girl and grew up in Hawaii and spent the rest of my life in the Bay Area. My older brother smoked like a freight train for 20 years and he runs and swims. I had an uncle who smoked and had cancer and part of his lung removed. My mother certainly was short of breath as she aged. My dad a very heavy smoker career Navy guy died of a pulmonary embolished after having a stroke.

Yeah...it angers me and confuses me. But I'm not angry. There's no time for that, IMHO. Only my close friends know I have COPD. I don't tell anyone else as I don't see that it's their business. And I am guilty of that "you did it to yourself" attitude when I learned about someone's emphysema. How's that for Karma? The most I would say to anyone not a friend and not enlisted in my health is that I have a "chronic respiratory condition". And if they inquired of me if it was emphysema, I would tell them that I have no interest in discussing it further. They can like it or lump it. Their choice.

Don't let the anger drag you down, but don't deny it either.

Should have edited what I wrote...apologies for the typos and grammatical errors. [blush]

Sometimes I'm angry at myself for smoking for 35 years knowing that I was trashing my lungs all the while.You reap what you sow. I planted cigarettes and Emphysema is what grew. No big surprise there.. eh?

Of coarse some others took good care of their lungs and have COPD anyway. Some are born with bad lungs so the sowing and reaping principal doesn't apply there.

No matter how one got this stuff I feel your pain. Having worked my way to stage 4, the last stage of the disease, I can truly sympathize.

I've got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. I had better get to work on building my casket pretty soon before my boys have to slap it together quick. ;^)

tom

Some people who only smoked for a short amount of time & have been non-smokers for years still get smoking related lung disease. There has to be a genetic predisposition. Not talking about alpha1trypsin deficiency either. That's a whole different thing. I don't think it's as simple as calling it the 'smoking disease'. There are plenty of other things that cause lung damage & I'm not sure Dr.s & researchers even know all there is to know about it anyways. Deb

No I am not angry cause everytime I go out I see people that look like there in worse shape than me and i wear 02 24/7 and usually use the electronic buggy's to grocery shop. The thing is everybody gets old and other diseases some lots worse than mine. I do have a pity party sometime but usually all I have to do is go somewhere and see it's not just me.suffering is all over.I just enjoy my good days and hope I have more good ones than bad ones. Take care.

I like that attitude Georgia:>)))

Occasionally I get angry. But depression is my worst enemy. Yes I smoked for a very long time and did part of this to myself. Yes I do have A1-AD and just found out about that genetic defect last year. If I had only known sooner. But I try not to let this get me down. I despair many days when I cannot get out and work in my flower gardens like I used to. That I miss most. Life though is too short to stay angry or depressed. I'm going to try and make the best of it till I'm gone. ;)

Linda

@Purpleiris...........it is important to find ways to vent our anger in a healthy way. You don't want your anger to spill over to the ones you love the most. But you do need to vent and get it out in a healthy way.

Funny~~ One of the things I usually do when I get really angry is drag the vacuum cleaner out and start cleaning. Or changing the sheets on the bed. Boy can I ever Snatch those sheets off that bed in a hurry. Then when I get really tired I have to go sit down and think about my anger.

Linda

Thanks for your advice Linda. Depression IS anger turned inward; I have been told by countless people in psychological field. 90% or more of my pain and anger is directed at myself; not my loved ones.
I do believe it is called self-loathing; worthlessness; etc. "Venting" of any emotion was NOT (still not) allowed in my family. So, I suck it in.
Appreciate your feedback and help Linda.

Hey there Purpleiris. We're here for you if you feel like venting - no one will judge or criticise you so let it hang out, girl! Toss the baggage and lighen your load. By the way, you are not worthless here - we need your input too if we hope to learn about this disease.
Cosy hugs. Huff See ya.

We do reap what we sow...i know there are some who have this disease who never smoked, and for those persons i feel empathy. I smoked for 30+ years, i use oxygen 24/7 and there are times i feel emotional but i think its more self pity than anger at this point. I never expressed my emotions or voiced my opinions, i smoked. I think [just like any situation], this disease becomes what u make of it......we can go around all pitiful or blameful, angry, or hateful, or we can make the best of it and enjoy what time we have left. Acceptance is difficult, but once acceptance is reached, u still dont like it, the disease just becomes a new normal.