Like you I have a similar situation- at stage 4. However, I am divorced (single) and the sole income earner. My only saving grace is my work is a desk job but for 4 months of the year I work ungodly hours ave. 16 hour days 5 to 6 days/week. I am about 5 yrs older than you and no where near retirement. I also have other complications in that I fear losing my job, so I have kept my COPD a secret. I also have kept it from my parents (elderly) as I did not want to burden them when they depend so much upon me - until only recently (April) my mother and best friend passed away from heart failure. It was sudden and unexpected. Being the only daughter (2 older brothers) most everything then fell on my shoulders. I still don't feel I have had any real time to grieve. That first week I forgot to eat and too busy to sleep. After 4 days I felt ready to pass out but an Aunt took notice and immediately forced me to have water and some crackers and that night I did sleep. Since then, my 82 yr. old father moved in with me (temporarily) but he is still here. He said he just can't go back to the house right now. So, all the things I had done to make living with COPD possible (i.e. easy meals, hired cleaning service etc.) now has my life upside down with the added duties of my father ...who to some extent sounds like your husband... he sees me struggle to do any and everything, but doesn't really assist me. (i.e laundry ... up/down stairs- cooking full course meals) my list can go on and on. he is of "that" generation. (generally speaking not meant to offend anyone)

The good thing is Dad no longer calls me anorexic but understands my weight loss is not by choice. [5'6" and 95-100 lbs] with my goal of not dropping below 100. I had not choice but to tell him because of my night O2. I not only pay for myself, but I also help support parents (now Dad) ... pay their real estate taxes, cable and any incidental type things. If I had my health I would do more for him but I simply can't and so I told him I'd pay for a cleaning service once he moves back home. Meanwhile my furnace/AC went this summer and that was 7k and just to top it all off I have been battling my HOA (homeowners association) to maintain the common property (the sidewalk has buckled from tree roots) and the water runoff is seeping into my basement. This battle started back in 2006 have I have had to pay for mold remediation etc. this in of itself has been a horror story.. By June of this year I had no choice but to call in an attorney ... CHA CHING $$ and is now getting to a breaking point and I hope to finally see an end to it all within the next month or so.

Back to you ... sorry to elaborate (maybe a little venting on my part) but also a back up for my decisions. I still work because I doubt I can afford to stop. If I sit motionless, I can breath. The minute I get up to do anything I am out of breath. I get up at 5 AM to try to make it to work for 9 AM because things just take that much longer to do with all the needed breaks of rest between exertion. My Doc said I should be on O2 24/7 but I can't, because I don't want my work to know. Dr. said he doesn't know what keeps me going ...I say it is sheer adrenaline - but it is truly rough to say the least. Am I tired, you betcha. Do I get excruciating headaches, yes M'am. Do I get mad at not being able to breath most of my waking hours, Absolutely ...but I just keep going (for now and as long as I can).

You didn't mention if your husband contributes to the family income. Is there a chance you can transfer to another type of job in your field (i.e in a lab environment) or something that doesn't take as much out of you physically? Is there any chance your current company can provide "reasonable" accommodations to suit your illness?

I know there are probably a million things running through you mind and it is not an easy decision. If you do qualify for SS Disab. what will it pay, medical? Working through the numbers is a tough task as others have indicated ... deciding what you can and can't do without, having to downsize etc. Then once you figure that out, you need to consider sustainability. I just recently heard SSA is not giving out cost of living increases in 2016. It is absurd, but it happens.

I truly wish you all the best and hope you are able to work through it all. I don't get to come to the site often (time is not something I have a lot of) and rarely post for this reason - but I have to say while I may be silent most of the time, the people here, the insight to so many things that affects those of us dealing with COPD, the humor and yes even the ability to vent now and again is truly priceless.

And your comment about not looking ill... so true. I have a HC placard I use on rare occasions - when I am very large parking lots and no close spots. I am sure people wonder why I park in HC spot, because I don't look HC... but if they only walked beside me as I try to make it to the front door...with excruciating SOB and lungs hyper-filled so much that I worry I will lose bodily functions from the pressure on my organs etc.

Oh and as for disability insurance, that is great if it was purchased prior to your dx, otherwise from what I understand the underwriter will include a waiver for anything that is related to the dx ... especially degenerative conditions, so be sure to look closely at the policy before you sign on the line.

Again - wish you all the best and I hope to hear your follow up and that it is something that works to your favor!

Anniem123

Can't write a lot right now but you humble me!