COPD & Emphysema Support Group
COPD is a progressive disease characterized by airflow obstruction or limitation. Emphysema is characterized by loss of elasticity of the lung tissue, destruction of structures supporting the alveoli and of capillaries feeding the alveoli. Both have symptoms that include shortness of breath, among other respiratory troubles. If you are a COPD or Emphysema sufferer, join...
Was dxd with copd/emphysema in 2010. Just recently i have watched her go way downhill. Her nose is so purple it is almost black, her nails areblue. She cannot walk across the room without gasping for breathe. She SHOULD be on oxygen 24/7, but refuses to. Shewon't go to the dr even tho she is doing so much worse. Shehas always been mean, but lately she has been very mean towards me. It is almost like she is pushing me away. i am feeling very worriedby the decline in her physical and mental status. How do u know when a person is to the point where things are critical?? and any advice for someone who has a loved one with thiscondition? Also, she has gotten to the point where she doesn't do anything. Luckily her husband (who i can't stand) is there for her. I just don't understand what is happening to herand need to better understand. Thank you for listening
Then - sorry to be blunt - I think you need to take a deep look at yourself before blaming your mum for being mean toward you. Why do you want to force her into something she does not want to do? Surely she still has the right to decide for herself? Who are you to want to take that right away from her?
I am a great-grandmother now and love my family dearly, but WILL NOT allow them to take over my life and decide for me. Then I'd rather leave this world and them. Maybe your mum has reached that stage. Hugs, Hanlo
FUNNY if your GOD did not exist n when its your time the evolutionists were CORRECT......
Life is precious whichever way you look at it hanlo.....
She probably doesn't do anything because breathing takes up all her energy. I get that way even with oxygen 24/7.
The best thing you can do is educate yourself on the stages and symptoms of emphysema:
http://www.copdfoundation.org/
http://www.thoracic.org/clinical/copd-guidelines/for-patients/what-are-the-signs-and-symptoms-of-copd.php
http://www.lung.org/lung-disease/copd/
http://www.emphysema.net/default.asp
There's a lot of reading, but I hope it will provide some understanding. There often isn't much the loved ones of a COPD sufferer can do - except try to understand and help where you can.
Hugs,
Dennis
You need to lighten up a bit. The lady said nothing about forcing anyone to do anything.
Cyanosis is an indicator of oxygen deprivation. The mind suffers greatly with hypoxaemia, often rendering a person incapable of coherent thought. She may reach or be at a the point of being incapable of making a rational decision. Not our call - it's up to her and her family...
Hugs,
Dennis
I gave my kids and house doctor precise instructions in writing about what I want and do not want done in case of any emergency whatsoever, years before they diagnosed me. So nobody can say I wasn't in my right mind at that stage. Those instructions still stand today and they better keep them. It's called a Living Will and is attached to my Testament as well.
My Dad was bi-polar. Yet even in his "highs" we did not dare take away his right of decision.
Hugs, Hanlo
All we can do for our family is be supported and suggest they have to take the action.
How do you know if you or your loved one isn't getting enough oxygen? When your oxygen falls below a certain level in your blood stream, it's called hypoxemia. Hypoxemia can be acute (a sudden short term situation) or chronic (lasting a long time). Hypoxemia is the primary reason people with COPD need supplemental oxygen. Deborah Leader, on the InogenOne blog writes the "Signs and Symptoms of Hypoxemia: are:
"Confusion
A sense of euphoria
Restlessness
Headache
Shortness of breath
Rapid breathing
Dizziness,
lightheadedness and/or fainting spells
Lack of coordination
Rapid heart rate
Elevated blood pressure
Visual disturbances
A bluish tint to the lips, earlobes, and/or nail beds (cyanosis)"
Debora Leader then goes on to describe how to keep an eye on your oxygen levels at home, and what to do when your oxygen levels are low. To read more about this please see "Signs Your Loved One May Not be Getting Enough Oxygen" at http://www.inogenone.com/signs-your-loved-one-may-not-be-getting-enough-oxygen/
I recently had a bad flare and one of my daughters was here. To me, who was a single parent getting no child support (cash or other), it was shameful and humiliating when my daughter "rescued" me from one of my severe spells (I'll spare you the TMI details, but suffice it to say there is no dignity left in this house). And so you may very well be right about an attempt to drive you away; I had said with a smile when I moved to Iowa that I came here to die, but I suspect that only half in joke. And we sure don't want our kids to see us at our weakest.
I know you don't like her husband, but have you talked to him? I know it might just stir up more problem, but it doesn't seem like things are all that good at the moment anyway. Do you know her doctor's name, if she has one? While he cannot give you any information (unless she has approved it in writing), I don't think that stops him from listening to concerns you have. And as others have said, it might be time to call 9-1-1. Sure, she's going to be mad, but I suspect once she starts feeling a little better and realizes how much she was cheating herself out of whatever remaining time she had, she may forgive you.
Speaking my the parent point of view, just try to continue being there for her. Even when she doesn't respond, know that it still means the world to her to hear from you.
Good luck. This is one of those "rock and a hard place" situations I hate being stuck in.
Even in hospice or home hospice care, supplemental oxygen is considered a comfort measure.
Hugs,
TJ
Those parts turning blue mean no oxygen is getting to them, and they are dying, as well as her other organs she is killing by not being on medication and oxygen.
Her "more than normal" meanness may be fear. Seems like she has ignored the problem and now sees what it is doing to her.
Yes, while everyone in their own rational mind has the right to refuse or accept care, there is something called intervening, when they are no longer able to make rational decisions.
And she is not....If you had a child on drugs, and they decided to stay on drugs rather than seek help, would you say :OK, that is your decision".NO, not if you loved that person and cared for them.
Hanlo, it may well be that you have made a living will and that is a wonderful thing, that you made it while in your right mind and rational. This woman is not thinking straight, and needs help, and that is what we do here at DS, we support and help.
If a person can not do that, they need to get off the boat.
Honey, call 911 for your mom. OK, she will get mad, but better mad then dead. She might even refuse their help because her low oxygen is affecting her mind.
Perhaps they will take her on in, if not call adult protective services and tell them what is going on and maybe they will do a welfare check.
Try getting the husband on your side, if not, go ahead and do what you feel in your heart is right.
I can not say it will not cause more problems, but if she has been DX'd since 2010, and has not been to a doctor or on o2 or other meds by now, then the answer to your question about when is it critical, is, NOW.
God bless you and I pray things work out. Please keep us informed. Most of us on this group are loving, caring, people, and will give you the best advice we know. It is up to you what you do with it.
Hugs
Brenda
In any case, she's your Mom and you are concerned. At times, some negative thoughts and feelings I've carried with me over the years, I just had to let go - it served no purpose and just made me "sicker."