I have been told by my wife at every instance when I have became upset, we engaged in an argument, or when I feel as if she has been unreasonable, or said something rude and hurtful, that it is my fault and that I had no reason to be upset.

I have heard this for so long that I just dont know?.., but what usually happens is after some time has passed, I will decide that maybe I didn't have a reason to be upset, or angry, and that everything was my fault?... because of this I have been researching Narcissism to see if it applies to me, but to be honest, it all seems to apply to her behavior. But I am afraid I may be the Narcissist and unable to acknowledge it. I feel that I always try to be rational, logical, and concerned about others feelings, but I am told so often that everything is my fault I dont know what to believe.

With all of that said... I do have to admit that I have behaved irrational at times, but I try to think about why I behaved the way I did, and correct my behavior. And to be honest, I feel that on occasions when I have tried to be rational with her... she behaved and reacted, in my view, so irrational that I have started acting out in the same way. I feel that I have conformed to reacting the way she does, although I know its wrong...I think I did this because I felt that would be the only way for me to reason with her, or make her understand that I was upset. However, all of that has backfired and caused me many problems. I dont want to behave irrationally, and I am taking steps to ensure that I no longer behave that way when I get upset.

Can I be a Narcissist? Am I the selfish one that gets upset when things dont go my way? I guess this is a rhetorical question because no one knows my situation, but all I know is that I am tired of being miserable, and feeling as if everything I do is unimportant, or unappreciated; and that is exactly how I feel five out of every seven days. I feel she is manipulative, and although at times she does make me think she possibly is the beautiful, kind woman she professes to be, I often feel the exact opposite.

She makes no effort to contribute to, or help develop any type of financial goal or plan for our future. She states she is not a little kid when I try to encourage some goals and plans on how to save money, pay down our bills, save for a vacation, etc....She actually seems offended by me attempting to build, and structure and type of plans for us, our future and how we live. I try to present it to her as a "team effort" so we both have some input as to what and how we do things. She wants no part of it...she says she is not a little kid and needs no instructions on how to live.

Her response anytime I get upset is that "our marriage is over and that I am mentally disturbed". She then packs up all of her belongings and takes them into the spare room and says she will live there until she gets help moving. It is insane...but there are two sides to every story; so if you heard her version, I might seem to you to be the biggest ass in the world?

All I know is that I feel I always try to behave responsible, logical, and avoid confrontation... but the things she says, and the things she does often causes me deep emotional conflict. Maybe I am too sensitive, or she does not respond the way I think she should have, and then I get upset? I feel that I try to make it all about her, I mean our life, and our relationship, and her feelings...but she says all I think about is myself?

I feel that I was once strong and confident in my thinking, and my direction and purpose in life....but I am no longer able to make any decisions with any amount of confidence...and I always second guess myself. I dont know if I am crazy? I am afraid that maybe it is my fault, maybe I am narcissistic?