Coming Out Support Group
This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men and lesbian women face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). Find support and talk to others who may be facing the same challenges, and share your experience.
I'm 34, and gay, and lately I've been thinking it's about time I finally came out of the closet.
I've known I was gay for over 20 years now. I knew I was different for as long as I can remember, but never really understood why until I was somewhere around 10 or 12, and my mom had a talk with my brothers and I to tell us that a good friend of her's, who was babysitting my brothers while I was at orchestra practices, was gay and that it was okay. That was when I realized that I, too, was gay.
For a long while, I didn't want to be gay. I was unpopular in school, and I knew that if the other kids found out I was gay it would just make things even worse. I had no interest in girls whatsoever, so I never dated anyone, not even as a way to try to hide it. I felt that I'd be perfectly content remaining alone.
In recent years, though, I finally accepted that I am happy with who I am and what I am, but I still didn't want to tell anyone. But, it feels like the lying and the hiding is slowly eating me up inside. I never realized how unhappy I've been my whole life until now.
I am planning to tell my mom (who is long since divorced from my dad), once I work up the courage. She'll be the easiest to tell, and I believe she'll be supportive... and I suspect she probably already knows somehow. I don't know about my dad, though... the subject of gays has never come up in conversation with him, so I have no clue at all how he'd react... that, and I'm currently living at his house, and can't help but worry about being kicked out.
I suppose I'm not really asking for advice or anything, since I've already decided how to start coming out. I just felt like speaking out in an anonymous way, since I don't know any gays in real life to talk to.
I've known I was gay for over 20 years now. I knew I was different for as long as I can remember, but never really understood why until I was somewhere around 10 or 12, and my mom had a talk with my brothers and I to tell us that a good friend of her's, who was babysitting my brothers while I was at orchestra practices, was gay and that it was okay. That was when I realized that I, too, was gay.
For a long while, I didn't want to be gay. I was unpopular in school, and I knew that if the other kids found out I was gay it would just make things even worse. I had no interest in girls whatsoever, so I never dated anyone, not even as a way to try to hide it. I felt that I'd be perfectly content remaining alone.
In recent years, though, I finally accepted that I am happy with who I am and what I am, but I still didn't want to tell anyone. But, it feels like the lying and the hiding is slowly eating me up inside. I never realized how unhappy I've been my whole life until now.
I am planning to tell my mom (who is long since divorced from my dad), once I work up the courage. She'll be the easiest to tell, and I believe she'll be supportive... and I suspect she probably already knows somehow. I don't know about my dad, though... the subject of gays has never come up in conversation with him, so I have no clue at all how he'd react... that, and I'm currently living at his house, and can't help but worry about being kicked out.
I suppose I'm not really asking for advice or anything, since I've already decided how to start coming out. I just felt like speaking out in an anonymous way, since I don't know any gays in real life to talk to.
I've found out about a support group for gay/bi men in this area, so I'm going to go to their meeting next weekend. It'll likely be the first time I've ever spoken to anyone outside of the internet about being gay... hopefully I won't be too much of a nervous wreck! But I really think it'll help me.
HUGE sigh of relief... she was more than okay with it, in fact she was relieved. After she got my text, she was worried that it was something bad that I wanted to talk about, like I was seriously sick or had a gambling problem or something... huge relief for her too!
It's going to be even easier to talk about this with other members of my immediate family (besides my dad) than I thought, because she told me that my youngest brother had also come out to her a while back, and that she, her fiance, and my other brother and his wife, all know and are okay with it. So, all this time thinking I didn't know anyone gay to talk to, and there's been one living in the same house as me all this time... wow.
So, that's a huge load off my mind... now I just need to figure out where to go from here!