Then do. Seems that you are done with the marriage and ready to end it, so what does it matter if you come out today? What's the worst he can do? Leave?

It's my kids. They love him and the idea of us. They're young.
Both of our families are religious and wouldn't understand. My husband would probably hate me.
The anxiety of coming out is frightening.

well is it that you honestly think that he will hate you? or is that what your mind is telling you. Our brains tend to be rather nasty to us. These thoughts you have is going to effect your kids in a negative way in the end if they aren't addressed. Your kids are going to get that you are not happy and you could snap at them or your husband because of irritability caused by the depression. So you need to get a therapist on that issue to keep it under control, however unless you are doing something drastic. The only person who would really need to know is your husband. If you aren't going to do any outward changes then there is absolutely 0 reason to let anyone else know. I wish I could say there is a simple solution, but unfortunately there isn't one. The only thing I can say is sit down and talk to him about it. If you cant do that now, don't. go to a therapist and get to where you have control and then do so when you are able.

Thank you so much. I've been addressing this to my therapist for a few visits now, she thinks if be much happier being true to myself.
Coming out.
So...maybe one day soon ill gain the courage.

just take your time, your heart is going to say when you are ready so listen to it