I have been through this it really sucks. I did it wrong I told my family befor I accepted it myself. I think you should accept and amitt it to yourself first befor you can expect others to. Learn to love you first so others can to. Understand befor being understood.

l want to make sure it's what l want and I'm 100%. comfortable with my decision and it is for the best. Sometimes these things need outside opinions. Thanks for the advice.. .

"Fear" is a terrible thing isn't it? It stopped me from living. From taking risks. From looking in the mirror... and inside myself. But, you can only be who you really are.
What scares you the most? What is the worst possible thing you can imagine might happen? Or is the "unknown" the worst part?
I think the most important thing I can offer is to let you know that there is no time table you have to follow. It's all up to you... and you make the decisions... this is all yours.
Do you have someone close to you that you can talk to face-to-face? If not, there are lots of support groups you can join. Or just keep communicating with people here. Hopefully people your age who are going through the same thing.
Even if you are afraid, what you are doing is very brave.

it makes me feel a little better to know i have some support from somewhere. i think it is the unknown that scares me, i can account for as much as i want, but it's the reactions and events that i cant prdict that drive me crazy with fear. the disappointment, the judging, and then what happens once it's out there, i cant control it anymore, it's it's own force then, i think is is my greatest fear...

Like a lot of us here, I understand a great deal about how you feel.
It took a long time before I was able to admit to myself, to say it out loud, to look at myself in a mirror and utter the words, "I am gay"

A few thoughts, bearing in mind that your own mindset and process might be different.

First off, you probably have a friend or two and/or a family member you feel might be more open-minded. Try telling them first.
While there's no guarantee how any one person will react, trust your gut.
And, don't be surprised if you get some pleasant surprises along the way as well.

Definitely make use of outside "family"...find a support group, go to a LGBTcenter near you, talk to people or elsewhere on line.

In my case, I'm relatively new here, but I have made some friends online before I got here that have been huge helps to me.

I agree about not putting too much pressure..about letting things unfold at their own pace. That is something I've had trouble with myself.
it's not always easy, but it does happen. While I have my down moments, they are becoming fewer and I am now the most comfortable I've been in my own skin, perhaps in my entire life
I'm not completely out, mostly due to being in a small, heavily religious town combined with my job.
But....I am gaining more courage by the day and more and more, I'm finding myself starting to worry less about what people think.

It's absolutely frightening..the not being able to control what happens.
But....the fact is, Garnet, that you are who you are. Who you love is no a choice. How people react to it? That is a choice and it's theirs.

If they chose poorly, that's their loss.

Good luck to you on your journey and stay strong. You seem like too nice of a person to suffocate any longer.

how are you feeling now?

i feel exactly the same. but im also struggling with whether im bi or lesbian...and i just wish i knew so i could be free and tell the world! ps i have the same trouble with friends and family

thank you everyone for you kind words and support. I've actually started making a plan of action, as i don't want this feeling to go on for very much longer. I started telling some of my closest friends. they were really shocked, but all of them have been in full support of me. i still have a few more close friends to tell, and i think that should be enough for me to feel a little bit of ease until i go away for university.
with each person i told i felt more and more confident and it became easier( as the anxiety could have stopped my heart the first few times). by the end of the year, everything should be alright... at least until i decide to tell my parents( which i probably wont).