Welcome to the group. Sorry to hear about the thing with your friend. Since that day has he given you any reason to think he is against it? Its possible that he was just kinda in shock. I had that issue when coming out as trans. A few of my friends got really really wierd for a few weeks, but i kept on like nothing had changed since they said it was cool with them, and eventually they just kinda went back to normal.

rj84,

Welcome neighbor (I'm a New Yorker). Congrats on opening up to people; it's a big step.

Sorry about your "friend". He may come around and realize that this knowledge doesn't fundamentally change who you are. Then again he may show a side of him that is quite dark. The difference between a friend and a parasite is sometimes hard to spot. A friend will be there for you in difficult and uncomfortable times. A parasite will expect that from you, then turn tail when it is asked of them. If he chooses ignorance over your friendship, I hope you don't spend too much time mourning such a one-sided relationship.

I hear you on the weight thing. I am not overweight by any means. I have an average body-type, and wear size small or even XS. There are still gay guys that look at me and turn tail. A while back I even met up with a guy for a date, took a look at me, said "sorry" and left. These aren't people we want in our lives. These are vapid, shallow peons that do not realize that one day their looks will fade and their bodies will sag.

I notice, through your description of your potentially-false friend and body-weight, that you put a lot of emphasis on how other perceive you. I get that you want to be liked (who doesn't), but the most important thing is for you to be able to say "I'm awesome, if you cannot embrace that, then I don't have time to waste on you"; aka Confidence.

Your friend can't handle having a gay friend? His loss. The boys can't see that there's just more of you to love? They don't know what they're missing. By all means, if your weight is negatively affecting your health, try and make strides to better yourself, but don't feel you cannot participate in society unless your abs put Zac Efron to shame.

Enjoy being you. You'll find that the people who are attracted to that outlook (as both friends and more intimately) are really the ones you want to stick around.

All the best,
Steve

Thank you both for your kind welcoming words and advice. I really appreciate it.

WyndWytch:

My friend seems to be acting normal today, contacting me on Facebook and everything. But given some of the things that were said when I came out to him, I don't know if it will last. I will certainly wait it out and see (although I was ready to say my goodbyes yesterday). He's also a bit younger than me and somewhat naive, and he also said that I was the first gay person he knows (surprisingly). Because of those things, part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt, but the other part has been down this road before, telling straight guys about me, and it has not ended well.

Steve:

My weight is one of the reasons I want to start out making friends and talking to people online. This along with the fact that I'm shy to a fault. I am working on losing weight through changing my lifestyle (no health problems, knock wood, but I'd like to keep it that way, so now is a good time to address everything, I think; another reason I joined this site).

Confidence is something that does not come easily to me for a number of reasons. Even when people compliment me, I can't take it very well. Another thing to work on :-)

Once again, both of your kind words mean a lot to me. I hope we can continue talking. You all have such great things to say. Thanks again!