IMy husband has stage 4 and it makes me very anxious when he reaches the end of a cycle of treatment. It does feel like your safety net has been taken away. Just put your trust in the Lord. I can testify that He will supply the peace you need even when it seems impossible. Our faith is what is getting us through this day by day. Good Luck!

Hi Jaynie,

It's a perfectly normal reaction, I went through exactly the feelings, part of you goes great now I can go back to living a normal life and the other goes along the line now what happens now that my safety net is removed.

Not sure what advice I can offer other than colon cancer is generally slow growing and you will be having either 6 monthly or annual CT scans and having had colon cancer they well be keeping a close look out for it so in that respect you still have a form of safety net, fingers crossed that you don't need it though.

Mark ( also from UK)

thank you for your words of support i do have faith and try and be positive every day, ive just had my first ct scn since chemo ended and hoping that when i get the results will ease my mind thanks for your comments.

Jaynie,
1.5 years out of chemo and still have those days of panic. First your scared to start chemo, then your scared to stop it! Then you get back to living and your scared you may have to revisit it!
I've been getting great clean reports. Feeling stronger ... some weird side effects that hold me back a little bit from the level of activity I had, but, take it one day at a time and keep your focus on the miracles of each day!
My little two cents. : )
Hey Mark!!!! Great to see you out in the Powder!!!!
Heading to Farmers market and then to take my 13 year old to the SF Zoo orientation for teen volunteers. I'm so grateful to be here to get to do this!!!

thanks for your comments, glad to hear you've been well for 1.5 yrs, and living life to the full. I recently went back to work which helps keep me focused. I never thought i would hear myself say that I'm glad to be back at work, i try and focus on each day and do appreciate the simple things more in life. Chemo made me very weak i was on Xeloda and Avastin combination, so had to live life at a much slower pace, and I'm determined to try and not get back in to the hustle and bustle of everyday life again without enjoying it. Hope you had a good day at the zoo, Ive spent the afternoon stood on a cold soggy wet football pitch watching myyr old son play football ( or soccor) as they say in the U>S, but wouldnt have it any other way, lol.

I was diagnosed in April 10, surgery in May and started Chemo in June. I finished up chemo in November. I have felt ok but l have been struggling to get back into shape. I am scheduled for my first CT after treatment on March 3rd and I have to say I am getting more nervous ever day as it gets closer. The "what if" is threatening to drive me crazy. All we can do is live it one day at a time and just keep moving forward.

This was me just under two years after first finding out that I had cancer http://www.mhbroughton.com/ski_course.html and right now less than a year after having a second surgery I'm spending the winter skiing and helping with the adaptive ski program which just proves there is life after cancer!!

Mark's blog says it best. The way to conquer your fears is to find something you're passionate about - whether it's a sport, a social cause, family, religion, or anything else.

I agree, replace fear with LOVE. When love is there, fear can't exist.

thanks guys you,ve helped immensley, I try and enjoy each day as it comes and live life to the full. Your right focus on something you enjoy, ive decided i'm not living my life walking on egg shells, so me and the hubby have been and booked to go back to Cuba for our wedding anniversary. Its not until November and its where we got married. Reading your comments makes you realise even though cancer has taken up a big part of your life dont let it take over your life.

now your talking Jaynie :-) as much as possible don't let cancer run your life

I felt exactly the same. Even asked the same question here a couple months ago. Give yourself some time. You went through a lot. It's post trauma stress and normal.

thanks guys, had my 1st ct scan results since chemo and all clear, i can assure you i gave a big sigh of relief.