I worry about this too Weazy, I am not divorced, but I just wonder how can I go back to my old life, and just act like nothing has happened. My whole life and world has changed, nothing feels the same aymore. I searched on the internet "Life after Cancer" and there were some suggestions on there, for you about dating or starting a relationship, so maybe check those out. I'm pretty sure there is no rule that you have to disclose all your issues right away with a new partner. And if you do find someone who runs when they find out, then they weren't worth having then. I am sure there are nice guys out there who would love to have a relationship with you regardless of yourmpast medical issues. As we get older we all have baggage whether it's children, an ex, or medical conditions, it's about spending time with someone who makes you laugh and feel good about you, and them. Good Luck!

hi Weazy and Lori, i was also stage 3 and was given the all clear earlier this year. For me at first it was a relief, then panic set in, i felt whilst i was having chemo, i was safe and now its like the docs say your all clear 'seeya and get on with your life' and your left alone. some times i feel guilty that ive been lucky, then i feel guilty for feeling like this as i thought i would be celebrating life to the full and i try to for most of the time. I think you hit the nail on the head Lori whey you said will my life get back to normal. Ive realised that cancer has been a part of our lives( a big part) and you have to make a new normal for yourself. When you feel scared just think how lucky we have been we are here. Set yourself a goal how ever big or small,. It does help,, i planned to do 'the race for life' and felt so much better for doing it. As for relationships i'm not divorced either, but as Lori says i dont think you have to tell someone all your details initialy Weazy, and also as she says the older we get the more baggage we have. You will meet someone special i ams ure, and i think this experience will make you a stronger person, and you wont settle for anything less than a loving person who will not only cherish you but will want to be part of your teenagers life again. \I think after we first get the all clear its abit like ptsd, your so wrapped up in dealing with the disease, its only when the rollercoaster stops you sit back and realise what journey you have taken. Take care both of you there is 'life after cancer' x

ThankYou both for your input!! Helps knowing your out here to listen and give support!

I just finished four weeks ago and I also have the same anxiety. I was at my first big party with friends last night and I felt strange. I had trouble sleeping when I got home, I was so stirred up. Everyone was asking about my treatments and congratulating me and I think it was just too much cancer and chemo talk. I also felt changed, that I wasn't the same person they hung out with last year. Some of the conversations seemed so trivial. All in all I was overwhelmed and felt disconnected. I guess it will take awhile to find normal again.

Smeburg, I really have never not attended things while going thru my chemo, just figured my blood work was always good so I just went. But I found that one of the peopel around me dont even ask me or say how are you doing, if I happen to even reference my cancer they change the subject, it's kinda hurtful too when that happens , because it makes me feel like they are just way to busy to think about my issues or they just feel uncomfortable, and just dont know what to say like Im dying tomorrow or something. No matter what I do or what my scans say this is a huge part of who I am right now, I cant help but think about it all the time. But on the other side my friends want me to constantly listen to them talk about their relationship problems, and believe me I have listened with as much patience as possible for years, now when I need to lean on them for a much different problem they still go on and on about their own problems, so trivial in my eyes. Maybe I need new friends!

hi Smeburg and Lori, i can relate to both of you in what you are saying. I finished chemo a year ago this week, and everything you are saying i experienced. We are so focused on the disease and treatment whilst we are dealing with the illness, that it is only once treatment stops we have time to sit back and think about what we have gone through. You may, like me realise that life will never be the same as it was before, and you have to find a new 'you' this can be a shock but it can also be a good thing, cos if cancer gives you one thing in life it gives you the realisation of what is important and what is not. i too got annoyed when people talked about immaterial problems, but you will find these feelings subside after a while, right now your experiences with cancer a very raw, but will subside with time, and life will get back to normal even if it becomes a new normal, you will realise life wil never be totally the same again, but there is life after cancer and you will find it and experience it. take care both of you. xxx

I had the exact same reaction after I finished chemo Aug 2010. I think I had post traumatic stress. I went to my counselor for a bit. Just kept going to work, meeting with friends and keeping up with my hobbies and slowly I came out of it.

Now it's been a year. I'm still anxious before my routine oncology appts but otherwise seem to be moving on and planning long term for the future.

Give yourself time. I think it's normal.