Hi,

I understand your feelings. Maybe because we want everyone to like us? It is easier said than done to ignore something or someone rejecting us in any way.

Hugs,

Shar

Thanks Shar...

I think its sometimes frustration and confusion whether to stand up or not.

yes, that happens to me too. I know we want everyone to like us. approval seeking maybe? When I am in a situation as you are I try to tell myself it really doesn't matter what other's think of me but it's still hard. Still working on that one. You certainly aren't alone in this

It's not that she needs to like me its more of arrogance and rudeness...I noticed that there are two thoughts
1. Urge to clarify,reply stand for myself.
2. Ignore it bcoz clearly she didnt understand and is on other side of bridge.

I usually have conflicted thoughts and usually end up leaving it right there because I feel I don't need to explain to those who have attitude problems.

anyways I see this an activity for me to look deep down what's causing this pain and how I need to react ... Tmrw is therapy hopefully I can get answers there... Meanwhile please do reply your thoughts.

Glad she opened up this hot button for me...I can figure it out ... God bless her.

well this world is full of this. i think you are feeling so many mixed emotions because you are testing your recovery. i believe you are saying i am not going to let anyone else disrespect my boundaries or me anymore. people will stay in their places and not cross me.

you know you are my buddy. i have seen your recovery come a long way. but, i believe this woman just hit a nerve. so, she is feeling it for all of the other people that pushed you to this place of recovery.. it was a perfect time for you to test it out and let the world know that the new you isn't taking "any mess". it is cute to see you using what you have learned.

you are going to be fine. you are so smart and i am always inspired by you. i honestly said that lady is messing with the wrong one because i see you as being so strong. i kind of chuckled.

i just think that woman is hurt. let it blow over your head. you are healing and doing so well. my mom use to say "don't let them see you sweat". i am here for you.

your friend.

Hi,

It is tough these internal things going on and internal feelings. For me, I am trying to release some anger. Instead of letting it go yesterday, I seem to be fanning it and the smallest setbacks are pig-piling onto the negative feelings.

It is great that you are trying to sort out your own feelings and response to those feelings. Someone else's issues are their own to worry about. I do understand the mixed feelings and also trying to figure out appropriate responses.

It is hard because at least in my case, I do not really trust my knee-jerk reaction to things. Never learned a good, calm way to respond to things that do not meet my expectations, so I can (and have) easily over-react.

One thorn for me regarding my class was resolved this morning. I was fine in my e-mail in pointing out the issue and the person took care of it appropriately. I somehow take this stuff personally, when it is often not so.

At another church, I will never forget this, there was a couple who had joined and the male had done some really inappropriate things. He was trying to get funds from the church, lied about some things and was not acting with good intentions regarding money. When this all came to a boiling point, he was temporarily removed from his position while the church was investigating.

His wife wrote a scathing letter, telling all of us what terrible people we were. I was furious. The director (whose character was maligned by the man) talked about what we could do to promote healing, including the couple who was creating the havoc. I was stunned by his concern for them. It was when I realized that there were other choices besides holding onto what I considered justifiable anger toward their behavior. It is not easy to do, especially when feeling that our anger is justified, but these people had some problems, and my fury about their remarks about us was not going to resolve anything.

I hope you can resolve your internal conflicts. I do understand and can relate.

Hugs,

Shar

sharmlynn,

i agree with you. excellent advice.

hi,
i think i would feel the same, especially if i didn't know the person well. It can feel so personal to us and for me it can take me back to being a little girl who's fallen out with my friends. It's like they're saying i am not good enough.
Thankfully we have tools now that can help us. by honestly looking at our part in it and making ammends if needed or if not letting them go in love as it is probably their own stuff not ours.

I think she just wasn't in a place to hear what you had to say, and for us we are so about trying to help others that it probably felt like a slap in the face when all you were really doing was trying to give her a different perspective. I thought she was out of line, but it didn't bother me the way it did you because she attacked you, not me. I did find her rather rude though to be talking to someone that way when she was brand new to the boards and asked our opinion. Oh well, some people just arent' ready to hear the answers.

Don't let it get you down. Remember: there will always be people who are contrary, and there's nothing we can do about it. It's her issue. You did nothing wrong.

Dont feel sad about it... I like you :) feel kinda invisable on this sight ut then maybe its cuz Im not posting enough..... heres a HUGG