I think it's a good start. Yes, a beginners meeting is a good place to start so you can find a sponsor that works. I wouldn't travel to far. You might be surprised who in your community could support you. Your not "locked" in if it doesn't work for you but it's worth giving an honest effort. Commit to 4 meetings before you say this is no good. Just a suggestion. Let us know what you decide.

I went to CODA and SAA. I personally don't like these group as those people seem t believe that they can never break free of their addictions.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate their efforts as starting to attend the meetings and to keep going back for years is very hard, I know.

To me, my therapist, and learning about my issues and addressing them consciously help a lot more.

I think it's worth a try though. Go, try it for yourself and see how you feel about it.

I agree with Julie about the community thing. I didn't used to tell anything about my issues to my friends as I was too afraid of being judged. But a few of them now know about this stuff and I'm surprised how understanding they are.

Good luck!

I did CODA for a while, and I found it to be very, well, codependent.

I also don't trust the "anonymous" part. I'd be too afraid that people would leak info. So I don't know if it would be good for you... Not saying people would say anything... just that it's my paranoia that they would.

Hey- it's worth a try. Maybe just going and mainly listening could be helpful. And when you speak, you don't have to say it's your brother- just that it's someone close to you.

So maybe give it a try.

I found Emotions Anonymous more accessible for me in terms of healing codependency. It all depends on the individual.

Dear Openfaced, I attend alanon meetings weekly. I too was afraid of my small town. I now spread my meetings around. I go to the next town over and sometimes I drive 40 miles into the city to go. I have found many supportive people. Sometimes I just listen, sometimes in pour out my soul. Does it help??? I can only say that for today I am trying to function. One Day At a Time is there motto. Try it.

Just had to add that I LOVE your screen name! : D What's that about?

I have been attending Ala-non regularly for about 6 weeks now and it has been great. I'm in a great group with some serious veteran status in it. If I could make a recommendation it would be just that, find a group with people who have been there and done that.

The group I am in has people with as little experience as me, and as much as 20+ years, and I'm learning a lot about myself, and about the process of healing from codependency. The group you go to, if like mine, will focus on the "alcoholic" but that's just a generalized term so that they don't have to say "alcoholic/addict," but the information, at least to me, seems to apply to both as my mother was primarily an addict.

I would encourage you to check it out and at least get through the beginners meetings, see if you think it may help you?

I really need to go because of my youngest brother's drinking. My sister started going two years ago because of me. That made me feel really crappy when she finally told me about a month ago. In any case, I'm 18 months sober.

What I don't understand is how/why the people affected by the drinker's (or drugger's) actions can be helped by a 12-Step program. I'm not the one who's "powerless" over whatever the person in question is struggling with. Nor do I need to make amends, etc., etc.

Al-Anon more or less told my sister to completely wash her hands of any type of family issue whatsoever, whether it was related to substance abuse or not. I am very very resentful about that type of cop-out behavior.

I (and our dad) insisted that she get off her ass and help out with our brother. The other day she criticized some of the in-house rehab programs I found online and I snapped at her and said, "Well, then YOU get online and find some alternatives." By golly, she did and ended up running a mini-intervention that the two of us tried to have with him. (It didn't work.)

Anyway, I'm just wondering what they advise you to do at Al-Anon. From the results I saw with my sister, I'm not sure that I want to turn into that kind of person.

As I said above I attend Alanon regularly. I somewhat agree with your not understanding the program. I have not been working it too diligently myself. But at the meeting I attended last night I got a huge understanding of what Detachment means. (They are always telling me to detach). Finally I asked for help because it seems so far fetched to me. My sponsor read from Courage For Today. It's one of the approved literature. It was about detaching. The final quote from the passage spoke to me: Get off his back. Get out of his way. Get on with your life". I don't know if this helps but it seems to speak to me.