I can appreciate that - it's a lot harder than you think... I am so conditioned to feel this way - just noticing my mind is messed up is freaking huge for me and I'll take that little bit of progress! I cannot just change my mind - it takes time to heal. I am jealous of people who don't care what others think of them, those ladies that wear tight dresses, the "boss" that can be a bitch without crying later, the co-worker that stands up for herself... I strive to get there - Thank you!

I can totally relate :( You were doing your best. I hope at least the client appreciated your efforts...and that might be the "problem", you might be doing a better job than your boss. Did this occur to you?

This is a feeling I understand very well too :( it’s infuriating when you recognise your mind fixating on something and running away with it’s self, and yet you/I/we can’t seem to stop it!

I think 11Christmases makes a very good point above me - sometimes people feel the need to put others down when they see them doing well at something. Low self esteem on their part!

I know this is much easier said than done, but maybe try switching your focus onto something, anything else when you notice your mind circling back to the conversation you had. Power through the next couple of days and, chances are, by then it won’t feel so bad anymore.

I will be employing this technique myself today as I am currently dreading a conversation that is bound to happen with my colleague tomorrow!

Be kind to yourself x

I relate to this post so much , comments difficult feeings can trigger full blown anxiety attack in me . You will get there just carry on working in yourself it's all about boundaries self esteem feeing your feelings seeing people for who they really are and then changing your behaviour to protect love and care for yourself .... it's not easy it's best to let your feelings out then block them .

Agree with the above, narcs and bullies can sense us and if we let our guard down react fail to have boundaries that's how they attempt to get one over on us , recovery is about building that sense of self we never had . Owning our feelings comes
First then taking responsibility for them as Roberts Burney says we need to be emotionally honest and then emotionally responsible.

So hard though - the second I even think about talking to my boss about something that bothers me or setting a boundary with a co-worker I start to cry. Then I feel like I need to explain my whole life story to them so they understand why I cry when confrontations happen.. Jesus - how did my husbands handle me???

I hope this is an isolated incident.

I once had a real psycho for a female boss. I felt the same way you do about standing up to her, because she was married to a high ranking officer in the company. She was going out of her way to harass me, and I knew that if I tried to approach her in a reasonable way about it, she'd tear me a new one and keep it up. I didn't feel like I could go to her manager, either (but now I know him well enough that I think I could, if something happened).

So, a few takeaways here - 1. Your boss may not be someone who CAN be reasoned with - the problem might not be you, your emotions might be telling you it is futile to try 2. If there is a pattern here of her getting mad at you for just doing your job, I'd start keeping a written record, 3. If she is not approachable, maybe someone above her is? Or maybe there is another opening in the company.

I recommend a book called "In the Company of Women: Indirect Aggression Among Women: Why We Hurt Each Other and How to Stop". This book showed me the REAL reasons women are so mean to each other.