Judie... Hopefully you've had some therapy. Most therapist will tell you it is way too early to be getting into a relationship. you need to figure out who you are and what you need first. Until you know yourself, you are going to keep getting into the same situations. Don't focus on getting into relationship, focus on finding healthy friendships. The right person will come along when you least expect it and it should start from a friendship.
All My best to you...
Stay strong

I stopped being a relationship junkie by finally admitting I had the worst track record, and I would never be able to pick someone for myself. I couldn't trust my judgement, you know?

So I took it to God and basically said that I was lonely, I wanted a relationship(marriage) for the love and companionship, but I also wanted it because I knew that figuring out how to be successful at being married would help my growth as a person (I was divorced at the time). I said I had a horrible track record, I couldn't ask for what I wanted in a man..because I didn't know what qualities would actually be good for me. I said I would never ask for someone again.

But I did ask for people to be put into my life to teach me how to be somebody's sweetheart, because if I could achieve it..become someone who could be a sweetheart...then I knew God would send me somebody who would treat me tenderly and with the respect and love I'd never experienced before, but always dreamed about.

I promised that whatever opportunity or situation God presented me...I would accept it..no matter how scary it was...I would do anything and everything.

And then I asked God to put me on the fast track for personal improvement, because I was pushing 40 and I'd run out of time if I kept going at the pace I'd been at so far.

I swear I heard, "Your request is granted!" LOL
It's been a rollercoaster, but it helped because anytime some guy started flirting and I got those feelings...I just reminded myself that this person was in my life to teach me something to prepare me for the type of person God intended for me. And I really looked for the lessons. I even started looking at every relationship...friends...chance conversations...everything.

The process really helped me see the red flags in the men, because since I didn't think of them as real possibilities, I never jumped into things.

I set very rigid physical touch rules for myself (because I knew I used sex to feel loved)...I decided that I would date, hand hold and kiss...let myself feel all gushy...but nothing more. What happened was that I never got a date during the process! LOL But I did alot of flirting. It was actually fun. And I met a lot of people. It was the first time in my life where I felt like I had a social life...and I did.

I hope this helps and gives you some ideas on what will work for you.
V

thanks for this post vranka! it really spoke to me. i think our paths have been similar. it never occurred to me to turn it over. even now that i am attending al anon, my first thought is to fix, not let go. but i am working on it.
blessings!