Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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newtocoda 03/03/2013

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a man who made me feel like crap. He was not attentive to my feelings and often belittled and severely criticized me. This made me feel severe anxiety and although I knew I should have broken the relationship off I continued to see him. Doing everything to try to make him happy.

In the end nothing could make him happy. Its been about 2 weeks now since the relationship ended, but I can't stop thinking about him. I keep replaying things in my head.I have been beating myself up even though I know this relationship was not right and I deserved better.

Nothing I could do was right by him. He would always criticize my weight. I used to eat really healthy but now I have been eating alot of sugar and things that are bad for me to the point of being ill. I feel like my life is on hold and I can't get the boost I need to get past this and move on.

I recently purchased "How to break your addiction to a person" by Howard Halpern. I have only been reading it for a few days. It is helping me to see that I am codependent.

My concern is that I do not have anyone to go to for support. My family lives in another state. Both of my sisters one who is married and another one lives with a man who is a drug addict. They are both codependent. I have few friends. The few I have I do not feel comfortable telling them because they are very judgemental and I fear they would judge me. I did find a coda meeting in my area and plan to attend as soon as possible. But I am a little nervous about doing that. I have never been to one.

Although I have been to AA with my dad when I was younger but that was so long ago. I just don't know where to go from here but I want to get started with the healing process. I want to wake up and not feel like I am in a fog. Although I know this relationship was bad for me I feel like a part of my life has been torn away. I am not sure how to get beyond the pain.

arbe 03/04/2013

for sure go to the coda meeting...it will really help and can provide a support system
get the book by Susan Forward."getting past your breakup"
other books that are good ,Melody beattie..."codpendent no more"
Pia Melody..."Facing Codependence"
hope this helps you some

deleted_user 03/04/2013

I read "Codependent No More" by Mealody Beattie, and I have been seen a code therapist for 2-1/2 years. Therapy has helped me immensely to see the destructive patterns in my life and learn a different way of thinking. Also coming on this site has really helped. It's good to know I'm not alone, that others are out there that have gone through the same thing and have bettered themselves, and that they made it through the really tough times.

sassybabe11 03/05/2013

it is so easy to slip back into this type of relationship without help from others and working hard on yourself. we probably would not have ended up with a person like this if not codependent. until we get stronger and a start to take care of ourselves and realize that we dont have to be treated badly to be in a relationship, we will end up back in the old one or in a new one that is unhealthy most likely anyway. work on yourself, tell your inner child that it will be ok that you will take care of her, and eat sugar right now if you want and dont feel guilty

newtocoda 03/05/2013

Thanks to everyone. I didn't make the coda meeting on Monday evening. I had barely slept on Sunday. Kept waking up tossing and turning. Monday I had to go to work and just barely made it through the day. But I plan to attend the next meeting. I did call and talk to the Organizer at the Coda group and I now feel more comfortable with going and I feel that it will be a big help and support for me.

Thanks for the suggestions on the books as well. I will read them. Its so good to hear from people who are in therapy and who are making progress with this. It gives me hope for getting my own condition under control.

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