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Thoughts or ideas?

karensue73
karensue73
So my AH is drinking...but only 1 bottle of 375ml Tequila once a week. He drinks it in one night, he "hides" the evidence, and he seems to have made it a plan to cook something for the kids and I while he does it (he drinks late at night after he gets home from work and we are all asleep).

I feel....a little lost. Not sure what to expect, as he hasn't maintained this "low" level of drinking before and he sure isn't talking about this. I don't know whether he can keep going like this, don't know what this means considering he HAS had serious alcohol problems (usually can't stop once he starts), I realize that probably what I am feeling is my lack of CONTROL!!!! I'm not enabling, but if he continues like this, and can control it...is this still alcoholism?

As usual, I'm getting a little more clarity just from venting... So...I guess just keep working on me, and try to stop worrying about HIM!

I would like to know if anyone has any ideas though!
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are dealing with an addict. There is a good board on D.S. called Families and Friends of Addicts. Go to the green link below and click on it and it will take you directly to that board. they have been through it all with addicts and are good people.

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Families-and-Friends-Of-Addicts/support-group
DeliAnnem
DeliAnnem
You ARE enabling him- he's STILL drinking. And you are still with him.

You admit that the situation is out of control... AND you have kids.

Think of it this way... would your want your children to behave like this when they grow up? They will. Kids become what they see.

You seem to be in denial about his alcohol addiction.
11Christmases
11Christmases
HI Karensue, I have responded to some of your posts before so sorry if I am repeating myself here. That is good that you are working on yourself. I can see you've been reading things that tell you to "detach" and "stop worrying about him". That is good advice to some extent, but after being married to an alcoholic for 17 years, I can tell you detachment is not all that helpful because too much detachment ends up being denial. One empowering thing you can do is document everything. Write down the date, the time, how much the AH drank, his behavior, and take photos for evidence to show how much he drank or if he destroyed any property. Keep track of how much he spends on alcohol. THEN, detach, and forget about it if it makes you feel better. Later you can go back and read your journals and see the "big picture" and what you have been truly putting up with and for how long. You may even find your documentation useful in court someday. At the very least it will help you make a decision to stay or go, and stick with that decision, because you will know the truth. It sounds like you are thinking clearly now, but after putting up with alcoholism and abuse for years, it is possible to repress some memories, which is why it is vital to write it down while the recall is fresh. Hugs.