Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
1. IS YOUR SELF-TALK STATED IN THE PRESENT TENSE?
Always state your Self-Talk in the present tense (I am... It is... etc). This is true of every form of Self-Talk other than Situational Self-Talk which was discussed in Chapter Twenty. In all other forms of Self-Talk, the image you are creating for your subconscious mind should be a completed picture of you already having accomplished the objective.
2. IS IT SPECIFIC? Be specific. State the details. Cover every possible facet of the problem or goal. Vague directions lead to vague results. The more specific you are, the more specific the directions you will be giving yourself.
3. DOES IT GET THE JOB DONE WITHOUT CREATING ANY UNWANTED SIDE EFFECTS? Always add Self-Talk which directs you to achieve your objectives in a healthy and beneficial way. I recall the story of a woman who told herself she would do anything necessary to lose thirty-five pounds. It worked. She became ill with an apparently unrelated illness, went into the hospital, and lost the weight. It is fine to tell yourself that nothing will stop you from reaching your goal, whatever it is, but it is a good idea to add a few words of additional programming which tells your subconscious that you will reach that goal in a safe and worthwhile way.Your subconscious mind is an incredibly powerful, goal-achieving mechanism. Programmed strongly enough, it will do anything necessary to help you achieve your goals. Unless you tell it what to do, it doesnt know the difference between right and wrong. Make sure the words you give yourself tell your subconscious mind to get the job done in a way that is healthy and beneficial for all concerned.
4. IS IT EASY TO USE?
Good Self-Talk is simple Self-Talk. It should be easy to recall and use any time you need it. If it isnt, you wont use it. Use simple words which paint clear pictures.
5. IS IT PRACTICAL?
This doesnt mean that you cant use Self-Talk to help you dream dreams and turn them into reality. But the visions you create for yourself should be planted in good solid ground. If you program yourself to achieve the impossible, you will create frustration and failure. Stretch your limits, reach for your highest expectations, and tell yourself that you can achieve the best. You can even go beyond what you once thought you could attainand you should! But dont start demanding miracles of yourself until you have learned how to fix some of the everyday problems and reach some readily attainable goals. If you get really good, there will be time enough for miracles later.
6. IS IT PERSONAL AND IS IT HONEST?
When you are talking to yourselftalk to yourself, and dont beat around the bush. One of the prime reasons for changing old self-talk into new is to give yourself a better way to deal with the factswhere youve been and where youre going, who you thought you were and who you really would like to be. The only way to stop yourself from reliving the roadblocks that have stopped you in the past is to be honest about them. See them for what they areor were. Take stock of yourself as you are now and set your sights on how you would like to become.
7. DOES YOUR SELF-TALK ASK ENOUGH OF YOU?
Just as it is important for each of us to keep our feet on the ground, it is important to expect from ourselves the best that we have to offer. Your Self-Talk should motivate you to go for the challenge, overcome the odds, and emerge the victor. Since the subconscious mind does not know the difference between victory and defeatit just acts on the impulses we give itwe might as well become winners in life instead of accepting anything less. Make sure your own Self-Talk demands the best of you. Whether our goals are as simple as dealing with a daily problem or as exalted as making an important change in the direction of our lives: there is no reason to accept anything less than the greatest potential that each of us has within us. Your own individual Self-Talk should be a reflection of the greatest potential that you already hold within you. Never ever sell yourself short. Make sure your Self-Talk recognizes your true potential, the person you were born to be in the first place, and expects the best from you. When you use Self-Talk in any form, keep this checklist in mind. If your own Self-Talk follows those guidelines, instead of ever having to worry about programming yourself in the wrong way, you can rest assured that you will be giving yourself the right directionsand you will be setting yourself up for getting the right results. By now you are probably already using some of the Self-Talk techniques we have discussed. Even if you have just started being more aware of what you are saying and how you say ityoure headed in the right direction!
Source - What To Say When You Talk To Your Self by Helmstetter, Dr. Shad ( One of my favorite book This is an awesome book for affirmations and self talk)
Always state your Self-Talk in the present tense (I am... It is... etc). This is true of every form of Self-Talk other than Situational Self-Talk which was discussed in Chapter Twenty. In all other forms of Self-Talk, the image you are creating for your subconscious mind should be a completed picture of you already having accomplished the objective.
2. IS IT SPECIFIC? Be specific. State the details. Cover every possible facet of the problem or goal. Vague directions lead to vague results. The more specific you are, the more specific the directions you will be giving yourself.
3. DOES IT GET THE JOB DONE WITHOUT CREATING ANY UNWANTED SIDE EFFECTS? Always add Self-Talk which directs you to achieve your objectives in a healthy and beneficial way. I recall the story of a woman who told herself she would do anything necessary to lose thirty-five pounds. It worked. She became ill with an apparently unrelated illness, went into the hospital, and lost the weight. It is fine to tell yourself that nothing will stop you from reaching your goal, whatever it is, but it is a good idea to add a few words of additional programming which tells your subconscious that you will reach that goal in a safe and worthwhile way.Your subconscious mind is an incredibly powerful, goal-achieving mechanism. Programmed strongly enough, it will do anything necessary to help you achieve your goals. Unless you tell it what to do, it doesnt know the difference between right and wrong. Make sure the words you give yourself tell your subconscious mind to get the job done in a way that is healthy and beneficial for all concerned.
4. IS IT EASY TO USE?
Good Self-Talk is simple Self-Talk. It should be easy to recall and use any time you need it. If it isnt, you wont use it. Use simple words which paint clear pictures.
5. IS IT PRACTICAL?
This doesnt mean that you cant use Self-Talk to help you dream dreams and turn them into reality. But the visions you create for yourself should be planted in good solid ground. If you program yourself to achieve the impossible, you will create frustration and failure. Stretch your limits, reach for your highest expectations, and tell yourself that you can achieve the best. You can even go beyond what you once thought you could attainand you should! But dont start demanding miracles of yourself until you have learned how to fix some of the everyday problems and reach some readily attainable goals. If you get really good, there will be time enough for miracles later.
6. IS IT PERSONAL AND IS IT HONEST?
When you are talking to yourselftalk to yourself, and dont beat around the bush. One of the prime reasons for changing old self-talk into new is to give yourself a better way to deal with the factswhere youve been and where youre going, who you thought you were and who you really would like to be. The only way to stop yourself from reliving the roadblocks that have stopped you in the past is to be honest about them. See them for what they areor were. Take stock of yourself as you are now and set your sights on how you would like to become.
7. DOES YOUR SELF-TALK ASK ENOUGH OF YOU?
Just as it is important for each of us to keep our feet on the ground, it is important to expect from ourselves the best that we have to offer. Your Self-Talk should motivate you to go for the challenge, overcome the odds, and emerge the victor. Since the subconscious mind does not know the difference between victory and defeatit just acts on the impulses we give itwe might as well become winners in life instead of accepting anything less. Make sure your own Self-Talk demands the best of you. Whether our goals are as simple as dealing with a daily problem or as exalted as making an important change in the direction of our lives: there is no reason to accept anything less than the greatest potential that each of us has within us. Your own individual Self-Talk should be a reflection of the greatest potential that you already hold within you. Never ever sell yourself short. Make sure your Self-Talk recognizes your true potential, the person you were born to be in the first place, and expects the best from you. When you use Self-Talk in any form, keep this checklist in mind. If your own Self-Talk follows those guidelines, instead of ever having to worry about programming yourself in the wrong way, you can rest assured that you will be giving yourself the right directionsand you will be setting yourself up for getting the right results. By now you are probably already using some of the Self-Talk techniques we have discussed. Even if you have just started being more aware of what you are saying and how you say ityoure headed in the right direction!
Source - What To Say When You Talk To Your Self by Helmstetter, Dr. Shad ( One of my favorite book This is an awesome book for affirmations and self talk)
Much of what we consider mental life transpires outside our awareness in the dynamic unconscious, a concept now demonstable with sophisticated funtional brain imaging techniques.
Through these various levels of processing, you come to understand ( or misunderstand) and plan responses to the information our brain is receiving. Either from ourselves or from outside ourselves.