Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Rather than provide a nifty link to solve my woes, I am curious to know what effectively works for you in improving your self-esteem?
I realize I only feel worthy when I feel "needed" -- which is such a strong co trait in me. My spirits lifted recently when I developed "purpose" when I solved a serious problem that was affecting my mother's ongoing health issues.
I realized that this "boost" in my mood was due to my codependency, my need to "rescue," my need to feel "needed." I am very aware that this is because I do not feel "worthy" and I do not feel "lovable" and I do not like myself (low self-esteem).
So if you can relate at all, I'm curious to know what "fills your well" -- to encourage a sense of self-worth, self-love, and self-acceptance.
If I learn to accept myself, love myself, value myself -- and learn not to look to others to feel needed -- will I learn to be self-sufficient? happy? content? Or will I always yearn and look to others and feel empty inside?
I'm sick of this rollercoaster.
I realize I only feel worthy when I feel "needed" -- which is such a strong co trait in me. My spirits lifted recently when I developed "purpose" when I solved a serious problem that was affecting my mother's ongoing health issues.
I realized that this "boost" in my mood was due to my codependency, my need to "rescue," my need to feel "needed." I am very aware that this is because I do not feel "worthy" and I do not feel "lovable" and I do not like myself (low self-esteem).
So if you can relate at all, I'm curious to know what "fills your well" -- to encourage a sense of self-worth, self-love, and self-acceptance.
If I learn to accept myself, love myself, value myself -- and learn not to look to others to feel needed -- will I learn to be self-sufficient? happy? content? Or will I always yearn and look to others and feel empty inside?
I'm sick of this rollercoaster.
Then get off. It is a choice, and only You can make it. You can make it as easy as you want, or as difficult as you want.
You ask what "fills your well"
Knowing that I Am Love, I Am accepted, I Am worthy. this is true for me, and it is also true for you and everyone. It cannot be any other way. It is not something that has to be learned. It just IS.
It is un-learning the conditions & attachments that say otherwise.
Sometimes,,,,,,,,,,an act of kindness is just that... an act of kindness, without having to put a label of neediness, or reason to it.
And what does finding a solution to an ongoing health issue have to do with purpose. There was a problem, you found a solution, what greater outcome can there be than that. Why question it? Why stop your spirit from soaring? Enjoy that sigh of relief.
Being a space of awareness, and emptiness is a wonderful place to be. Go with it & have a blessed day. Huggzz.
Then get off. It is a choice, and only You can make it. You can make it as easy as you want, or as difficult as you want.
You ask what "fills your well"
Knowing that I Am Love, I Am accepted, I Am worthy. this is true for me, and it is also true for you and everyone. It cannot be any other way. It is not something that has to be learned. It just IS.
It is un-learning the conditions & attachments that say otherwise.
Sometimes,,,,,,,,,,an act of kindness is just that... an act of kindness, without having to put a label of neediness, or reason to it.
And what does finding a solution to an ongoing health issue have to do with purpose. There was a problem, you found a solution, what greater outcome can there be than that. Why question it? Why stop your spirit from soaring? Enjoy that sigh of relief.
Being a space of awareness, and emptiness is a wonderful place to be. Go with it & have a blessed day. Huggzz.
Then get off. It is a choice, and only You can make it. You can make it as easy as you want, or as difficult as you want.
You ask what "fills your well"
Knowing that I Am Love, I Am accepted, I Am worthy. this is true for me, and it is also true for you and everyone. It cannot be any other way. It is not something that has to be learned. It just IS.
It is un-learning the conditions & attachments that say otherwise.
Sometimes,,,,,,,,,,an act of kindness is just that... an act of kindness, without having to put a label of neediness, or reason to it.
And what does finding a solution to an ongoing health issue have to do with purpose. There was a problem, you found a solution, what greater outcome can there be than that. Why question it? Why stop your spirit from soaring? Enjoy that sigh of relief.
Being a space of awareness, and emptiness is a wonderful place to be. Go with it & have a blessed day. Huggzz.
Then get off. It is a choice, and only You can make it. You can make it as easy as you want, or as difficult as you want.
You ask what "fills your well"
Knowing that I Am Love, I Am accepted, I Am worthy. this is true for me, and it is also true for you and everyone. It cannot be any other way. It is not something that has to be learned. It just IS.
It is un-learning the conditions & attachments that say otherwise.
Sometimes,,,,,,,,,,an act of kindness is just that... an act of kindness, without having to put a label of neediness, or reason to it.
And what does finding a solution to an ongoing health issue have to do with purpose. There was a problem, you found a solution, what greater outcome can there be than that. Why question it? Why stop your spirit from soaring? Enjoy that sigh of relief.
Being a space of awareness, and emptiness is a wonderful place to be. Go with it & have a blessed day. Huggzz.
Then get off. It is a choice, and only You can make it. You can make it as easy as you want, or as difficult as you want.
You ask what "fills your well"
Knowing that I Am Love, I Am accepted, I Am worthy. this is true for me, and it is also true for you and everyone. It cannot be any other way. It is not something that has to be learned. It just IS.
It is un-learning the conditions & attachments that say otherwise.
Sometimes,,,,,,,,,,an act of kindness is just that... an act of kindness, without having to put a label of neediness, or reason to it.
And what does finding a solution to an ongoing health issue have to do with purpose. There was a problem, you found a solution, what greater outcome can there be than that. Why question it? Why stop your spirit from soaring? Enjoy that sigh of relief.
Being a space of awareness, and emptiness is a wonderful place to be. Go with it & have a blessed day. Huggzz.
Dear Amy
All the spiritual gurus point only to one thing ... "Do not be dependent on external things because they can vanish with time..Whats eternal is self"
I did not reach to the point where i am reliable on self for everything...But definitely my self esteem boosts with attaining knowledge, Improving my skills, my own achievements and success, Asserting Boundaries, Seeing myself as a human being who is okay doing mistakes, overcoming my fears, Letting go, Content with self, When i have balance lifestyle, When i have intimate relationship with self and others, when i am genuine, When I am volunteering, Autonomy.. so on so forth.... list is endless for me....
There are ups and downs in my self esteem too and when i am down i have to rely on myself to motivate me .... sometimes i ask friends for help... Sometimes i look for proverbs and sentences that can motivate me...sometimes i will just feel for the sake of feeling... i dont let it drain me ....
When i am connected to my inner child and take care of her needs i feel complete .... thats the major self esteem booster for me.
Hope this helps.... Hugsssss....
Then when these rescue and "need to feel needed" situations come around, hopefully our self esteem is in a better place and we can resist the temptation to jump in and make bad choices for ourselves.
I think one of the things that I am coming to terms with is that I am always going to have negative thoughts about myself. They float into your head like clouds and look for ways to attach themselves to your reality. The key is only allowing the ones to attach you to that you truly believe.
That is where the process of inquiry can come in. Question those uncomfortable thoughts and feelings and see if they are really true. If you can prevent them from attaching to your reality, you can find more peace and happiness.
Take a look at www.thework.org Its an interesting concept called "The 4 Questions" or Inquiry. It can really be helpful in questioning those negative thoughts you have about people, concepts, beliefs, and yourself. Asking yourself if your thoughts are really true can be freeing. You can find everything you need on the site to get started with it.
There is a concept that a life coach I have been listening to talks about: its the Sacred 6. The 6 people in your day to day life that are your rocks.. the people you can count on for anything. The people that when you tank gets low, you can go to them and get that "Energy Drink" you need for your soul.
At this point, I would settle for a Sacred 2 or Sacred 4 :) But the point still makes sense.. look to surround yourself with people who fill your tank, not empty it. If you see people in your life that consistently empty your tank, get those people out of your sacred circle. Look for other people to help you.
Just a few quick ideas. I will come up with more later :)
I went into some pretty deep states to address this issue. It was important to learn that my drive to make sure other persons needs were met was based on my need to survive. If such and such is unhappy then I might not get my needs met and I may not survive. It is extremely primal and child like condition in the head. underdeveloped ego so to speak. It is the old connection of mommy and child as one with the healthy separation of self and other to process.