Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Somehow after being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, I was left with only 1 friend. She usually is a great friend and someone I talked to daily on the phone, but it's always me calling her. The last time we spoke on the phone last Monday, I asked her to come over and help me clean my apartment and she said she would. She never showed up, so I didn't pick up the phone and called her last week. She never called me either.
She finally called me yesterday morning and on her way to work and she left me a message. I couldn't call her when she was at work because she takes care of a woman with disabilities, and I won't call her when she gets home because her husband is home and they don't get to see each other very often due to their work schedules.
So yesterday afternoon I was in the bathroom on the toilet I heard the doorbell ring so I wasn't getting up to go answer the door.so I hear my front door opening I yell out and she says I have and return any of her phone calls that she's left me. I only got one message she said it was more than two weeks we had talked but I know it only been six days.
So I sent a message this morning saying that I had talked with her last week and reminded her that she was such use can come help but never showed up. She's been offering for more than two years to come over and help me, she hasn't.
I know I need to let the anger and resentment go. But I'm just sitting here thinking do I really have any real friends. Very sad for person that has been a social butterfly to be isolated to her apartment because no one will call me if I don't call them first. I am going to wait to find out how long it is going to take her to pick up the phone and call me.
Sober One Day At A Time~
Allison~Codependent
She finally called me yesterday morning and on her way to work and she left me a message. I couldn't call her when she was at work because she takes care of a woman with disabilities, and I won't call her when she gets home because her husband is home and they don't get to see each other very often due to their work schedules.
So yesterday afternoon I was in the bathroom on the toilet I heard the doorbell ring so I wasn't getting up to go answer the door.so I hear my front door opening I yell out and she says I have and return any of her phone calls that she's left me. I only got one message she said it was more than two weeks we had talked but I know it only been six days.
So I sent a message this morning saying that I had talked with her last week and reminded her that she was such use can come help but never showed up. She's been offering for more than two years to come over and help me, she hasn't.
I know I need to let the anger and resentment go. But I'm just sitting here thinking do I really have any real friends. Very sad for person that has been a social butterfly to be isolated to her apartment because no one will call me if I don't call them first. I am going to wait to find out how long it is going to take her to pick up the phone and call me.
Sober One Day At A Time~
Allison~Codependent
I'm learning how to open my mouth and help what I feel, and because I did that she came over today and help me a great deal. I wish codependency was just easier to deal with its :)
all is right in the world again, and I need at my higher power for more patients.
I understand the thing about having all our "eggs in 1 basket." I have only 1 friend, who calls me every day. But on days when we have an argument -- or he goes away on vacation -- it is awfully quiet here. And makes me realize that I need to have more friends so I can enrich my life and expand my horizons. And not depend so heavily on 1 person, who is not always available. It takes the pressure off of him too -- he probably does not appreciate the expectation of being my "be-all and end-all." Y'know? I know he really doesn't appreciate when I freak out because he didn't have a chance to call me on a given day and I spaz because I have depended on his phone call as my "sanity check." That's so unfair to him.
It's on me to make new friends. Not expect my friend to be more than he is capable of...
((HUGS))
I too am disabled & house bound,as liken to millons of perple are.
It is not my famiy,friends, extended family, church members... job to be used by me. i don't pull the I'm unable - oh pity me card.
I have service of In Home Care service.Thur in home care service I have cleaning service. I pay 1 of my neighbours by the mo to collect my bags of garage off bk deck & take outside waste can to /from the curb. I have service of lawn service. I go & have my hair shampooed,once a wk I have my hair ( curled or blown out).bi wkly, I have my nails done at salon. not at my friend salon. When I'm unable to do so. I have a support buddy whom will shampoo my hair. Bi wkly I have my nails done. Oh ya. by way of in home care service. I have a woman who on her own time, comes in twice a wk, to tidy up kitchen & vaccumm.
Being that we are of sound mind & know that we are disabled & need these things done. why use our friends to do that which we need & should hire services to meet our personal needs.
abuse comes in many forms, even behind a phone call n a smile.
U might opt to turn ringer on your phone up.
Glad that things worked out & that your friend doesn't mind being used.
RU on meds for your disability ? do u have disability benifits.
I'm retired & have social ser'curity & medicare.Some days ru able to walk w a walker ? A neighbour of mine, grandson has MS. he works for Wal mart, full time. he brings in shopping carts from parking lot. I wonder how he manages to somewhat stand, let alone hold a job.