Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
It seems that the closer I get to someone, the more I push them away. Friend ships and loves. The line between being too abrasive or totally distant is so fine for me. I've always been this way. I give every moment of my attention to one person at a time then don't speak to them at all. Most of the time its because, I think, they distance themselves from me. Being bipolar and growing up in a very dysfunctional family, I have no idea of what a healthy relationship really is. I try to work on it in therapy but it still isn't sinking in. Any tips? I'm at the end of the rope with my own mind and actions.
The pushing away. I find myself getting that feeling. But immediately seeing it for what it is and pushing it aside. So, I'm not subjecting my current relationship to it externally. But, internally it's trickier.
My warped sense of needing to be needed is public enemy #1. If I pereceive any action, no matter how small, as negative - My mindset immediately wants to switch gears to "I don't care". - And that's saying it politely. :-)
What I have noticed is that the episodes are getting further spaced apart and last for shorter periods.
There's other issues of "needing" to much. But this one, the self-sabotage of not feeling "loved enough" is by far (for me) the most destructive. I feel I do have a handle on this aspect. How or why? I'm not sure. Reading and working on codependency no doubt.
Not sure I'm any help! But, I wanted you to know that I know what it's like.