Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
After my divorce was diagnosed with codependency four years ago while I was being treated for depression. I've seen a therapist and attended a support group.
I think I've been doing well. However, I am now in a healthy relationship with a wonderful man. He lives two hours away and we only get to see each other on the weekends. I am so very happy.
My problem is that I feel like I've pushed my family and friends to the side. I work and it has been very stressful. My coping mechanism is just to want to be alone when I get home and I'm emotionally drained.
I visited my sister yesterday and my oldest niece was there and I sensed something. I know they are hurt because I haven't made time for them. I know my friends feel the same.
Now I'm frustrated because in a sense I'm angry because I have that people pleasing problem. So after a full day of work I have to go visit people to make them feel loved. Then I put my self in their shoes and feel terrible.
I've dated my guy for 7 months and we have not spent a weekend apart. I don't want to miss a weekend because with his job, he may have to be gone a few weeks.
I'm just frustrated.
I think I've been doing well. However, I am now in a healthy relationship with a wonderful man. He lives two hours away and we only get to see each other on the weekends. I am so very happy.
My problem is that I feel like I've pushed my family and friends to the side. I work and it has been very stressful. My coping mechanism is just to want to be alone when I get home and I'm emotionally drained.
I visited my sister yesterday and my oldest niece was there and I sensed something. I know they are hurt because I haven't made time for them. I know my friends feel the same.
Now I'm frustrated because in a sense I'm angry because I have that people pleasing problem. So after a full day of work I have to go visit people to make them feel loved. Then I put my self in their shoes and feel terrible.
I've dated my guy for 7 months and we have not spent a weekend apart. I don't want to miss a weekend because with his job, he may have to be gone a few weeks.
I'm just frustrated.
The only thing I can really say in your case is you have to find balance. There is nothing wrong after a long day at work just going home and relaxing, you're entitled to that as a human being... But social interaction is good for a person, it keeps you healthy and helps you to not get stuck in those "lonely" codependent/depressed behaviors (which I deal with every day).
I struggle hard with being alone, I hate it, I'm desperate for my fianc to come back home, but I'm trying to just be smart about it. Take it a day at a time, and just hope that sooner rather than later we're in the right place.
It's all about finding balance, I wish you the best.
It is hard to also to deal with the codependency/depression. He's an understanding guy but if you're not codependent then you don't quite understand the constant battle with what we deal with only a daily basis. I fear too that he will not be able to handle my issues.
Have you ask her to read any material on codependency and depression? Maybe if she understands what is really going on in your thoughts and the reasons for your actions. Just a thought. I wish you the best.
I have talked to her about coming to some meetings, and possibly coming to a therapy session with me, but that is all down the road. It's hard, I miss her a lot. She really is a great person. Don't get me wrong she has her problems too, but she is fantastic, and I hope that we're able to get it all sorted out.
Then you say that you feel the pressure to "make other people feel happy." That's where you got it wrong. You are not responsible for others' happiness.
Only see people because you want to. If you are too tired, say so. If you don't want to sacrifice time on the weekends, don't.
But how about he comes to YOU and you do things with your family? Win-win! : )