Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I have recently come to a relalisation that I am heavily overt codependent I am 25 years old I became very ill recently suffering from anxiety attacks and pure ocd had a few issues with relationships and at work where i felt alone and with a few work colleagues it seems it all came down to codependency ... Seeking approval validation and fear of rejection . I was in denial previously to the extent of it.... I first read about it when I had a narcisstic manager I was having issues with and aunty who I was very close too since childhood been no contact for a while now
Ive only had one relationship that was with a narcisstic guy . I have been reading a lot of self help books and articles online about causes and how to cover one this I just want myself better before getting into a relationship it is a long journey .
Ive tried writing stuff out setting boundaries doing exercises I have become better at I thought I just wore my heart on my sleeve but I get attached so easily the key to it is stopping the blame shame and judgement as you are repeating your childhood patterns Focusing on your self and inner child work . Every time my mind wonders I just bring it back to myself it's so hard after a life time of Focusing in everything outside myself obsessing about others . You also do have to let your feelings out which I was denying ... and I've tried to stop the controlling behaviours recovery is a long journey I hate that I have spent so much years like this and you'd think it would be easy just Focusing on your self care but it's not
my mother suffers from a mental illness so does my elder siibling coming from a very dysfunctional family and as the 2nd eldest sibling that's where my codependency comes from as its within the dynamics of my family since childhood .. I always thought that's how things are and the way I am I can't change so I become over responsible especially coming from an Asian family and a collective culture only Made my codependency worse it got to the point where I was carrying the world on my shoulders and couldn't take it ...looking forward to a new start now after denying myself for long
I find it recovery quite difficult n the relationships I have with family and close friends have to take each day as it comes ...
It takes a long time to get in there and work it. Sounds
Like you are trying to do it alone much easier in group
Often you hear what you needed to hear. There is just
Something magical about the shares often hearing them
From someone else opens us up.
I go to therapy too that helps a lot with validating and
Pointing you in the right direction. Alanon addresses
Reparenting and retraining our inner selves. It is hard
Soul searching work.
I love Lisa Romano on youtube videos she has tons
Free and she offers seminars, ross rosenberg is
Great one and melodie beattie books, There are
many others Too.
I am glad you are working on yourself at your age,
You do not want to marry the wrong guy and have
A lifetime of misery. HUGS
Listen and absorb. It was the only way i could
Change and grow. There are three daily books
To purchase at 14. Each and generally a lending
Library. I just sat and cried for a long time. HUGS
Is more more your thing. In my area there is Only
Alanon nearby so its a mixed bag. People With
kids, parents, dysfunction, drugs. Spouses, ex
Spouses even. Codependence is the other side
Of addiction. Many addicts are codie too and/or
Have narc traits.
To me it does not matter i have it all around
Me. My biggest qualifier is my mother and she
Is highly dysfunctional and i say a narc, my father
Is a dry A he left years ago.
My ex Has been dry for 30 years and his parents are
dry.The family disease of alcoholism runs that family
And mine is run mostly thru dysfunction.
If there are CODA meetings try them and or alanon.
Mostly people try different meetings until they find
What they need or like. You do not need to speak
Until you are ready to do so.
Any 12 steps are a spiritual program not religious
You pick your own higher power. Celebrate recovery
Is good but i knew one codie that went she never got
Better she was very religious too, she ended right back
With her ex doing his thing. HUGS
I'm 25 and I have just realized that my anxiety problem and lack of identity are rooted in codependency.
Codependent no more workbook by melody beattie is helpful! I just got into therapy and that can be good too. I promise you it can get better, and you are not in charge of everything. God bless you.
Narcissism on my side. My ex alcoholism and
Strong Narc traits.
My mothers last known alcoholic in her family
was at the turn of the century. That is How long
lasting this stuff is, so people that Say alcoholism
does not touch them need To look a lot closer.
Many times the parent Is adult child of an addict
or of some type of mental illness. Many addicts
Have other underlying illnesses they drink or drug
To escape their other problems.
We as codies were not born that way we were
Created by dysfunction of some sort. Addiction,
Mental health, uncaring selfish parent. The list
Can go on.
Now as adults we need to reparent and retrain
Ourselves to think and be different. It is daunting
And huge. HUGS and courage to all
Of, she is highly dysfunctional at best. She even
Attended alanon for 20 + years. I think during those
Years things were calmer, there were still game
Playing and manipulations even while attending.
When she stopped attending alanon all the dysfunctional
Controlling, Micromanaging and Enabling behaviors
just resumed. HUGS
Sundays now. She does not like boundaries
Much and it has been a real struggle since i
Started alanon, NO is a complete sentence.
It has been slow going, she was relentless After
my ex left. He was a very strong personality
Basically we really dont talk about much deep
I keep the conversation 15-30 minutes. Long
Enough.
I was just listening to a couple of lisa romano youtube
Videos. I like her she has so many out there, HUGS