Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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PAMJIT 01/30/2011

Hi everyone

I just want to say i struggle with my thoughts. Usually i know when i feel down and depressed and sad, and empty. Or just to identify what i think about a certian issue, i tend to think of how other people will feel. I'm wondering how we work out our thoughts.

Also Guilt, its horrible. I carry guilt for not being good enough in anything i do, low self worth, guilt for being with my partner just becuase my family don't agree. And i think will i always feel guilty all my life, is it the right decision for me?

I would like to know everyone's thoughts on this -feedback is always good!! take care.

koolman 01/30/2011

We all want to feel connected to each other, Pam, and, frankly, to feel warm and vulnerable, and to feel OK in that vulnerability. It's OK to not know how you feel about a certain issue, and to lean on the thoughts of others!

As far as guilt, well, allowing yourself to be vulnerable means feeling that you ARE good enough! Worthy of love, fun, enjoyment, a career that you enjoy that brings in a nice paycheck, a man who supports and encourages you, not merely manipulates you for his own gain, if that's the case

If you're with this man simply BECAUSE your family doesn't like him, and you want to punish your family somehow, well, that's something to be looked at. Take your family out of the equation and really, honestly ask yourself: What do I LIKE about the man I'm with? Is he kind, considerate, warm, loving, supportive, encouraging? Or mean, insensitive, manipulative, self-serving?

deleted_user 01/30/2011

Feeling "less than" is shame, not guilt. Sounds like you were raised in a shame based family like most of us. The way out is to learn new rules for living, saying affirmations, and giving back the shame that others have put onto you.

deleted_user 01/31/2011

Hmm...and how do you give back the shame? Do you mean release it?

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