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My 16 year old son has been on house arrest for sometime now and for the last 4 weeks (he may have slipped once) has been clean and doing well. Even though I can tell by his behavior, I also monitor his conversations on-line that he is not engaging in drugs. This morning, however, I saw on-line in a conversation he had that he wanted a fellow classmate to give him some acid during study hall today. I didn't know for sure if this girl was going to give him some or not but I called the school to give them the heads up, telling them what I saw on-line. Here's the issue: They didn't find anything on her (questioned me if I had the right person) but found a plastic bag with some residue in it in my son's pocket. The school officials don't know what it is and my son claims it's stuff he used a while ago, which could be true. He has lots of pairs of jeans. The assistant principal said that they don't know what they are going to do, but will get back to me on their decision if it's drug residue. My son is weeks away from getting some treatment (the system takes forever), he will be going to court in a few weeks, has been doing fantastic, and now I am wondering if I did the right thing. Perhaps it is a dumb question because it is wrong to have drugs in school and from what I've read, it looked like this girl could possibly could have given him some. On the other hand, if I had not interfered and if he would have used, then the natural consequences would be that his usage would have shown up in a drug test. Now I'm anxious and wonder if I should be watching him so closely.
i've watch an aunt go through similar things with her son starting at age 13. he is now 21, no high school diploma, a record, no job and theif and living off her -- she never provided him consequence to his actions. when he and some buddies stole beer from a closed gas station, she found out and refused to turn him in because she was afraid he'd get a worse punishment due to his history.
too bad.
so again, in my opinion, you did the right thing. your son's choice to approach this girl (or whoever really) and have this item (old or otherwise) in his possession is his bad choices causing his consequence and NOT your phone call to the school.
think about this - what if you didn't call, what if he had a bad hit of acid and what if he died today becasue of that....
what would you feel then?
quit your quilts. your son understands the difference between right and wrong and is aware when he is risk taking....
my two cents...
he isn't 18 or 21, At that point, he certainly will have to pay the consdquences of his actions, but I would not hesitate to let him know that while he is a minor it is your responsiblity to keep him from harming himself by setting and guiding him. I don't think I would have called the school, but I sure would have sat him down and showed him the email and asked him what he thought as a parent he would do... I'd let him know exactly what the consequences are for his actions, even if he is on house arrest, there are consequences you should set in place.
All my best,
dr. G.
Plus that girl could have given any number of kids drugs if she had had any on her. You intervened like a responsible human.
You are the parent and he is the child. You get to make the rules, not him. Bravo.