Feel everything you can... anger sadness shame fear everything you can... if you dont want to share you can journal in a book. You have every right to feel what you are feeling now. Take each feeling and try to let it go.. first time when you hear codependency you are overwhelmed confused and dont know where to start and what to do
.. its okay if you are little boy/ girl thts stuck in your past... try and get help feelings out and let them go one by one .. you will be relieved else the litle child will act out whenever she/he is instigated.

Dear Pekitas, we are all on a journey towards wellness, there will be people here that are like you just starting out and others who are well along the way, the good news is that we are all here together helping and supporting each other. learning to be healthy in our mind, body and spirit.
It can be overwhelming but try to make time each day to sit still perhaps with a journal, jot down things that you like, dislike and would like to try just for you, it will help you get to know yourself. Look into buying a good book which helps and explains codependency such as Melody Beatties Codependent No More.
And keep coming on here to get support, it's really helped me.

Pekitas,
When I first got here I was so scared to tell all how scared, anxious and in pain I was, but once I admitted it and felt it deeply, others here validated my feelings, I have been feeling stronger, less fearful and gaining more courage to Change.

I am becoming more self-aware &learning how to stop the madness.

Change is a process. Start where you are and take baby steps to begin your journey of recovery with us.

We are similar. I grew up in an abusive home, with narcissistic parents (both) and one an alcoholic. I could write a book about the negative, abusive, antics of my parents! Surely, most of the people in this group feel the same way.
As the mother of five children, I thought that being a loving, supportive mother to them, was enough proof that I had overcome, and filtered out the abusive behavior that my parents exhibited. It's not enough. I had to overcome those bad feelings in order to proceed forward with my own joy.
Part of my healing was for me to think of positive stories to tell about my parents, and speaking those positive words instead of the negative ones that I used to. Soon, this branched out to other things. Now, I am to the point where I speak positive words often. Those little steps can help so much. I hope that your journey has many positive steps. There are days when crying is essential. Give those days to the loving hands of your higher power.