Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
NEVER DOUBT YOURSELF
November 1, 1999
If I would leave any thought with someone I would say never doubt yourself. No matter what people say, no matter what you may think sometimes, never doubt yourself.
If you believe in yourself you will succeed far more than you will fail.
He who possesses a quiet kind of faith in his ability to perform a task already has the task half completed.
Believe in yourself despite setbacks, despite the seemingly immovable obstacles, despite the cold and dark, despite the woe and pain, and eventually your faith will come to fruition, and you will find all those troubles behind you.
The simplest thing in the world is to deride ourselves because we made a mistake, to give up and say, "I'm no good", but the more difficult thing is to believe in ourselves and constructively continue our life.
The greatest error in life is to downgrade ourselves.
The most horrible tragedies in life have occurred from a lack of faith in one's own self, one's own ability, from a belief that one cannot succeed, but that failure is their sole lot in life.
There seems to be a self uncertainty that builds up in the mind every time one makes a mistake or fails to accomplish a task, and with every successive blunder the uncertainty grows stronger until one doubts one's ability to do anything right.
Being human we are host to a number of frailties, each one of which disturbs and depresses us, and makes us doubt our worth.
We are not a mechanically precise machine, we are a bundle of nerves which often tangle and get jangled, but are capable of amazing performance.
We have more strength than we believe, there is more fight within us than we know, and far more potential than we could ever call forth or even dream of being possible.
Unknown author
November 1, 1999
If I would leave any thought with someone I would say never doubt yourself. No matter what people say, no matter what you may think sometimes, never doubt yourself.
If you believe in yourself you will succeed far more than you will fail.
He who possesses a quiet kind of faith in his ability to perform a task already has the task half completed.
Believe in yourself despite setbacks, despite the seemingly immovable obstacles, despite the cold and dark, despite the woe and pain, and eventually your faith will come to fruition, and you will find all those troubles behind you.
The simplest thing in the world is to deride ourselves because we made a mistake, to give up and say, "I'm no good", but the more difficult thing is to believe in ourselves and constructively continue our life.
The greatest error in life is to downgrade ourselves.
The most horrible tragedies in life have occurred from a lack of faith in one's own self, one's own ability, from a belief that one cannot succeed, but that failure is their sole lot in life.
There seems to be a self uncertainty that builds up in the mind every time one makes a mistake or fails to accomplish a task, and with every successive blunder the uncertainty grows stronger until one doubts one's ability to do anything right.
Being human we are host to a number of frailties, each one of which disturbs and depresses us, and makes us doubt our worth.
We are not a mechanically precise machine, we are a bundle of nerves which often tangle and get jangled, but are capable of amazing performance.
We have more strength than we believe, there is more fight within us than we know, and far more potential than we could ever call forth or even dream of being possible.
Unknown author
You frequently post wonderful quotes, but you never share about yourself. I would much rather hear from the real you, than from the person who never shows up and stays hidden from view.
Let us get to know the real you.
Grace
Do you know I wont even wear my wedding ring, because it has such bad vibes, memories for me. Edventually I want to reset it into another band and get it blessed, to start new.
The holidays..... sigh.....
the holidays.. are a scary thing for me...
I have been super freaked out lately or anxious... scared...
In the past the holidays, have always always been bad... I didnt want to hope... I didnt want to "think" within my mind, that everything would be good this year and then me hope and pray for it soooo much and be let down...
Right now... things are going good...
I can tell u, I am not still where I should be in a marriage....
Will I ever be? I dont know... How do I answer that question? How do I find those answers?
Will I ever be able to trust someone fully again?
To give someone every part of me??
Does that feeling inside of fear ever go away?
I still have that wall up... with everyone... EVERYONE
I did start letting the wall down a lil bit a couple months ago...with a couple people and something happened, and in which I threw that wall back up..
I threw my defenses back up, and really dont share much of myself fully with anyone again.
I started not going out again,
started not replying back to people....
Sometimes.. I feel like some people will never get it...
they will never understand some of the hells I have been through..
they will never understand the Missy that wants so despretley wants to be just accepted for the woman I am now...
I can never be the innocent, naive girl again.
I have scars....I have hurts, I have a past....
I cant be what they want me to be...
They accept me for me.. or they dont deserve me....
I am who I am ....
My anxiety... since then has gotten a lil worse....
I hate going into big group situations...
HATE IT..
I am not trusting people again...
I have always always had a hard time trusting woman... and now.... I am back at square one...
But I guess thats how recovery is.. u take two steps forward and end up taking one step back ..
I keep asking myself...
Why is it soo hard... ?
Why cant I just be like other people?
Why cant I just let go....?
Will this feeling of anxiety ever go away in those situations?
Will I ever trust anyone enough, to just let me be me?
Does anyone really deserve the real me?
Does anyone want to know the real me?
Russ has been sober now for 6 months....
will I ever trust him???
Doesnt he deserve me to?
But then I tell myself.. even if he does decide to drink again.. Thats his choice and his alone.. I cant stop it either way.. I can only control myself..
I think it will always be a uphill battle for me.. within myself...
with the trust, anxiety and letting people in..
I know that.. and I am ok with that..
I can get through and I will try my damnest to keep trying to work my way uphill....
The quotes.... the poems... They give me power again when I need it..
they give me that deep breath, that sometimes I need to make it through the day..
they center me..
I think I have been just waiting for the holidays to pass... before I wrote another journal entry..
But ... I thought... since a couple of u have asked I better get my butt in gear and open up... it was time.. u guys have always been there for me...
Soooooo.. I will try to get in gear and try to do it more.. I need to.. I have been holding to much in again... I cant do that .. all it does is hurt me... by holding it in, then I cant grow and get better...
So thank u .. for giving me that lil nudge I needed..
that lil push on the swing of life.....:)
:)
Love u guys :)
I found that my addition to anxiety, obsession, denial, anger and guilt was every bit as lethal and addictive for me, as my partner's addiction to chemical substances. So I needed as much recovery from my addiction as he did, but I needed my own program. This is a family disease, and everyone is affected by the addiction that is present. If you haven't already discovered it, Al-Anon is the safest place I have ever found to recover, with no exceptions, even CoDA. There is such a high level of commitment to recovery, that it leaves very little room for the behaviors you described above that were so hurtful. That is where I learned to trust again, and I think you can too.
If I am ever quiet again... Push me a lil bit to get my feet off of the ground :) give me a lil nudge :)
I have a hard time trusting too and I am so afraid to open up to people wondering if they'll like me if they really know me, wondering if I'll get hurt again. It really hurt me to have my ex cheat on me and say the things he said to me. I know how hard it is to not put walls up, I'm hoping maybe at church and in coda, I can find a safe place. I hope you find a safe place to recover too. You're worth it.