DON'T DO IT. HE SHOULD GO DIRECTLY INTO REHAB. He will probably end up on your couch and heading out to use.

His history is that he became a full-blown addict while with you AND YOU WORKED TWO JOBS TO MAKE ENDS MEET. You are what is called "an enabler" and he will never get into rehab until you stop enabling.

Go to the board below that is Family and Friends of Addicts as they can help you. Just click on the green link and it will take you directly into the board.

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Families-and-Friends-Of-Addicts/support-group

I say it sounds like you handled it very well indeed.

I say well done, and congratulation, as you are my kind of Lady.

A week's rent is nothing and the time will fly by.

Renting a room for a week is NOT enabling any dysfunction, as that is trying to rescue a lost soul who happens to be your own son.

I really do sincerely say that my cheers go out to you for that.

It is important to always remember that God our Heavenly Father watches over us all - whether anyone likes it or not.

NO WAY! Do not allow him to take even a day off.
STRAIGHT TO REHAB!!!!!!
It is far too easy to "put off" going to rehab, calling rehab, getting help, just one more day after day after day until old drug friends are stopping by rarely, then occasionally then everyday and staying overnight!
This is the very definition of enabling.
Based on your history:
>>give up YOUR apartment
>>working two jobs to give him access to a the life of a lazy person
it is far too dangerous for HIM to allow yourself to be drawn into that situation again where you will enable him to get back to drug habit.

He can get all that worked out while in prison!
He has access to counselors in prison who will help him work out all the issues and ensure that he goes straight from prison to rehab without a single day's break so he continues to heal and recover. So there is no need to "rent him a room for one week so that he could do what needs to be done to get into rehab".
This is something HE needs to do. Tell him that you were mistaken and he needs to move straight to rehab so talk to the people who can help him in prison.

I don't know if you can call the prison and talk to them about how to best help him. Try and see. Just do NOT fix it all up for him. Perhaps they can help you arrange an intervention. That would help him a lot!

NEXT, call rehab's and ask the professionals for their opinions about what to do with renting him a room. We can suggest based on our experiences and knowledge.
That is NOTHING - NOTHING AT ALL compared to their knowledge and experience. They will help you understand why it is important for him to continue on forward healing without stopping off for a week resting on mommy again. They want him to be free of this demon on his back that is literally killing him.
They can help him.

They can also suggest programs for YOU! This is very important. Relatives of addicts must get recovery themselves. It is HARD!
Please get into proper therapy for yourself.

What I am reading is a lot of guilt. They can help you deal with that and learn how to help your son in ways that STOP enabling his addictions. He is dying right now with they way things are going!
Read that again. The actor from "Glee" just killed himself from addiction. Picture your son there! Get help for yourself so you can be strong and set boundaries and limits and live YOUR life.

May I pray for you both? I have no prejudice against anyone's religion or lack thereof and will send good thoughts if that is more your way.
Sunny

Thank you everyone for all your support. I have prayed hard about this and I feel lead to give him this week. To give you just a little more history, he was sexually abused by a neighbor when he was in his early teens. This neighbor was luring young boys into his home with cigarettes, beer, porn etc, and then began abusing them but they were always there one at a time. My son was afraid to tell because of threats to harm his father, however, another boy finally told and the guy went to jail. My son never had the courage to tell until 3 years ago. He was severly traumatized and eventually discovered that drugs numbed the pain. I have been going to Celebrate Recovery for months for my codpendency. My former situation was enabling to extreme and I know that was not healthy for either of us, however, if he is making positive steps to help himself, I feel I should support him in those efforts. He has no place to go except the apartments of other drug users. It could take a few days to get him into a rehab and I want him to have a safe environment until then. He is clean right now and if he is ready to commit to doing what it takes, he will have this time to make arrangements. If it turns out that he is not ready then at least I know in my heart that I did what was reasonable to give him that chance. I will never give up hope, but I know it's ultimately his choice as to where he goes from here. If he goes back to using it will be a painful disappointment for me, but I'll know I did what I could which is all any of us can do. I am hoping for the best.

I think you're doing the right thing. You've come along way from your "enabling" days, and it seems you know what you need to do.

You ought to get a social worker or somebody not so close to him emotionally helping out in making sure he gets into rehab. Seems you, being a Mom and obviously having that maternal instinct are too close too him and he may use that to his advantage once the week is out. Also I've heard it emphatically stated that the drug problem of one's child is something that a parent is unable to help him with. To me there seems to be the need for a third party to be there to deal with him to see to it that he enters rehab. You have a Big heart. But he doesn,t need lessons in that which makes a heart a heart. He needs help in Learning what makes a spade a spade and that will see to it that a spade is a spade: rehab or else. And this coming from somebody who won't be taken in as many mothers can be taken in by his begging for more time or whatever. I definitely feel you need solid support, preferably by a male who will work as a Partner with you in achieving what your son really needs as oppossed to what he may really want.

Sweetie,

You really need to call an addiction center to get an interventionist.
Then call the prison to talk to the social worker. Tell her about your plan and take her advice about where your son should go.

A couple months of Celebrate Recovery is no where near enough to deal with an addict. They have amazing capacity to trick their enablers with tiny small steps until we are trapped taking on two jobs again. And we barely noticed the slow convergence.

I read a lot of guilt in your second post here. That needs healing. It is easy for mom's to become overwhelmed by the "mistakes" we made - even thou they were NOT mistakes. No mother is perfect.
But it seems that you are letting these thoughts invade what you know is going to save your son's life.

I am saying that you need more healing before trying to deal with him and all his issues in a healthy manner.
These statements convince me that you are not ready
"To give you just a little more history"
The only thing that really matters right now is that his life is in danger! Without trained supervision from professionals who have strong boundaries and can't be twisted by addicts, he could easily die.
Please, it is clear that you love him dearly!!! VERY CLEAR!
Refuse to allow room rent without a firm date and commitment to a rehab. Explain that if he allows that to pass, you have to ask him to leave your home.

"My former situation was enabling to extreme "
" if he is making positive steps to help himself"
Any and all enabling is bad with an addict to drugs.
Define "positive steps". If making a call is "positive" from his perspective, what do you do when two weeks goes by and he has done nothing but "make calls"?

"he will have this time to make arrangements"
Frankly, this is a choice that few addicts make on their own. He needs help from you setting clear boundaries and enforcing them without being afraid of those things from his childhood that hold you so tightly in this grip of guilt.

Why am I so serious about this?
You can save his life NOW! It is very important NOW!
I don't read the strength that he needs from you right now. Yes, progress is being made. But with addiction it takes many years to recognize all the little ways they trick us into enabling behavior. We barely notice it until after when someone points it out to us. That is if we are ready to hear them and face the truth.

If you had explained your boundaries, limits and consequences with him even a tiny bit, I'd see some strength. Not nearly enough to deal with an addict but strength. I can only see still the guilt of a mother blaming herself for her 35 year old son's adult choices.
Life sucks big time for lots of kids. It is horrible. It is unfair. It is criminal. I know.

He needs you to love him so much now that you set boundaries and stick to them. Just like when he was little and did not want to go to bed, you knew better. He might throw a temper tantrum. Still you made sure he went to bed to get rest.
Now he needs his mom to say,
"your choices are
-- go to rehab
-OR -
-- choose to live on the street
The choice must be his. And you need to allow him to make his choice and try to live with letting him go.

Good luck
Sunny

The local churches just recently started the "Celebrate Recovery" in my small rural area.

I went once but the "no cross talk" and the "no trying to fix each other" is just not the right way for me and not the way that I understand to heal, so I feel that I must not go to it again, but other people like it - so may God bless them.

Again - just for the record - I say you seem to be inspired and doing the best you can and I see your actions as wonderful, and hopefully your son will be smart enough to take it this time.

I disagree with the idea that you need some social worker to intervene, as there is no one more capable then your self as his mother and as his best friend.