Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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mysteryman73
mysteryman73
I think I spent some much time trying to figure out what everbody else wants, I don't know what I want or need anymore anybody had the problem.
Tray34
Tray34
Yes..I was sitting outside last night thinking about this..I give to everyone around me,...and I make sure they have what they need and they are happy but who does that for me??nobody
mysteryman73
mysteryman73
I know how you feel
deleted_user
deleted_user
It seems like that's a typical codependent way of life - giving to others, while failing to tend to our own gardens. I took this to such an extreme in my last relationship that, by the time it was over, I had totally lost contact with who *I* am and what *I* need. I woke up one morning shortly after the relationship had been ended by my ex, I looked in the mirror (literally and figuratively), and I no longer recognized myself.

I said it before in another posting awhile back - I had allowed myself to become her avatar. When she felt the avatar no longer served her needs, she cut me loose - she had no idea who "me" was anymore - and neither did I.

It was quite the rude awakening, and I'm still struggling to define who I am again.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh my goodness, completely! Little things and big things. I think I've had to start with the little things to uncover what I've buried. This is a silly example, but just the latest: I am trying to eat more salad and I hate salad. I don't really like a lot of dressing, but I don't like plain salad either. I couldn't think what would make me like this. This morning, making my salad lunch, I realized: "I want Catalina dressing. That's what's I want." So I went to the store and bought some. Again, I know that's a silly example, but my life is like that. I don't know what I'm hungry for, what I'm tired of, what is too much for me, what I want to work on - literally and metaphorically.
koolman
koolman
Oh sure! But part of what I want is to be an accomodating host to others! Derive pleasure from seeing them happy! Prefer an army of free-loaders crashing at my pad watching my movies all night to being all alone. Yup, I know exactly what you mean!
koolman
koolman
Sleep...sleep deeply. It all makes sense when we "die" to our physical bodies and embrace God and the world of dreams.

"Rest...rest, can we not learn?" -Ali, Lawrence of Arabia