Yes, your husband is the problem. Nobody should be isolating you from family/friends. This is NOT normal. This is a very controlling person. You do not need to ask permission to do anything when you are an adult. I would start planning an escape plan to get away from this guy in a safe way.

Definitely not a good situation! This is controlling and abuse. Please seek out some resources to help.

Thank you guys have tried running to safe houses where I found relief and calm but he always convinced me to return
SOme times my kids tell me they surpport me 100% if I want to leave him because he is verbally abusive My kids are 12 13 16 years 2 girls and a boy I know I have to leave and its an abnormal life for my kids but I'm afraid he always convinces me that I won't cope without him that I can't make it on my own what do I do have been saving and looking for a place

even if you don't stay at a shelter they hve a ton of resources for you, at least to help point you in the right direction which is important. You know he is controlling and that his behaviour is abnormal, you have to remind yourself that you ARE strong and you ARE capable and you CAN do this without him. This is a strong message to your kids. Being independent and raising children is no easy feat so take as much help as you can get but for sure, it would be best. He is not your owner, you are not a possession. You are an individual and you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.

I think you're a codependent. It's all very well for him to pick on you but when you leave him, because his behaviour is not good enough for you - he talks you into going back.

That's you. That's not him.

You need to take a good look at why you leave, and why you return. Take a good look at the basis for your relationship. Have you two had counselling?

You seriously need counselling, either as a couple or, if he won't do it, yourself alone. Because you need to learn what it is inside you that triggers you and makes you incapable of standing behind your own decisions.

You right bridge101 I've been for counselling it cost me loads and after I felt even in a worse space Its hard to find a counsellor who understands codependency

Give yourself a pat on the back for reaching out for advice and taking a step forward by seeing your mom and sister! Do not be afraid to leave! I left my narcissistic husband (of 18 years) 2 months ago bringing with me my 5 children who are similar in age to yours. The less I communicate with him, the more clearly I can see and the better I feel. I am slowly becoming myself again. It has been hard for me and the kids but it is a different kind of hard; we are not walking around on eggshells anymore! If possible, surround yourself with people who love you and your kids...those who will model healthy relationships! It will help all of you to see the contrast of when he's around vs. when he's not. It will become clear to all of you that HE is the problem! God Bless you! You are a person with dignity!

Have trouble holding my tears back an overwhelming and heart felt thank you to Findingpeace I'll hang onto your words of encouragement through this indecisive period I look at him differently after reading TerriR blog Taking small steps

Today i feel the only way out of this marriage is dying :(
My NARC husband shows more care for one of our staff workers When I question him he says shame she has no money have to take her to the pharmacy
I'm working it out in my head how to leave and I feel I could use this reason to get out

He's cheated when oour first born was 3 months I was suspicious and called the number i gound in hes shirt and they confirmed him having an affair not aware that he's married that was 16 years ago I agreed to work things out but was always snooping and he actually warNed to stop calling her I was dumb struck but as the codie in me told me its my fault
It happened again The othet women was suspicious and called to find out if I'm He's wifeWe then set up a trap and she came to our house and he's best friend was here to confront him about it He just flat out denied everything!

Last night was horrible How do I say I'm not enjoying the intimacy He's totally oblivious to my discomfort After with years and expaligning over and over He still gets it so wrong I hate it I hate it !

Today I popped in at my sister work place she offered my kids and i a ride home
On the way she suggested we visit my niece whos father in llaw passed away I immediately froze and was afraid at what my husband would say It was hard to push through the codie in me I kept o telling myself be stong this is you on your own You allowed to do this there is nothing wrong dont stress dont walk on egg shells its gonna be fine I'll be strong and deal, with this when I get home I'll be strong Relax enjoy the visit Then my phone vibrates and the stree starts building I don't answer On our way ho e Waapp we on our way home Nothing happened no drama

@caramal Hello. You haven't posted anything new on here for a few days. With your last entry....I am hoping and praying that you are ok?

Hi veggiequeen
Thanks for your concern I'm doing great He understood me and empathised for my niece Bridgie101 you were right Of all the comments I received I hated yours the most , guess cause somewhere there was truth in what you were saying The reason whybhe isolates ne from my family is because I grew up believing was dumb I never excelled in school. Due to the political situation while I was in grade 8 my dad put my sister an A student in private school he left mebin public school. I started smoking and skipping school Eventually my dad took me out of high school 16 yrs said I was rebelling and put me in design school.

This made me feel even dumber and ugly and unworthy I always felt different and like I don't belong. All my cousins had university degrees and Soon my sister and brother would follow to achieve their degrees in quantity surveying and law. After studying i started working at 19 years in a clothing factory My salary was paid directly into my father's account with me receiving pocket money monthly. I asked my dad if I could study and complete my high school at night classes. He's answer was "You are not as clever like them" I sobbed at the foot of my parents bed where they were both sitting and said that's not the answer you should be giving you should be encouraging me:-(