Emotional intimacy is different and that takes
Trust, commitment and love.

Would you ever go to therapy or CODA meetings
To help you. None of this stuff is easy to do.

With codependency you need to learn so many
New tools. Its retraining and reparenting ourselves
Because we came from dysfunctional abusive
homes and did not get our developmental needs
Met. HUGS

I have experienced this and am seeking help through understanding codependency and healing wounds from childhood.

+1 to what mirandac wrote above.

I just feel like i'm good for one thing, then i feel after i do it like a man whore... And in the moment alot of feelings, and visuals come up from my childhood and i just push through it to make her feel happy... When she feels good because of something i did, i conceptualize my self-worth based on that. So, when she get's distant, i lose any esteem i have... I feel so damn broken... Like my minds screaming, and my mouth is sewn shut.

Therapy would be a good start, please watch those
Videos i had listed. They have helped me facing My
shame, inner child, the dysfunctional family system
and My codependency.

Most of us that come from that type of environment
And are Codependents are shame based. Doesn't matter
if Your an addict and/or a straight codependent. We have
low esteem, low self worth, don't understand the concept
of Self love. Thats why so much self medication and addictions.
HUGS

Self love. What's to love....I do not see anything I have that someone else needs or wants so Maybe I am hanging around the wrong people..I read that. Time to get out there and meet more people who Loft you Higher..now I am going to try that advise too..

Shelda when you come from abuse you dont learn that skill
Of loving yourself. SL comes from within, its not external, thats
Where the void comes from when you are alone. You don't feel
Comfortable in your own skin.

Self love is an ongoing journey, just like self esteem. So much
Is based on old shame and your upbringing None of this work
is easy, alanon and CODA Are designed to address it or any of
the 12 steps really. Therapy is a great tool, too. HUGS

"Codependents may not know what they feel, think, need, or want - but they are sure they know what the other person feels, thinks, needs, and wants." - CoDA newcomer's handbook

Good on you for seeking healing and help for the sense of emptiness and for acknowledging the broken-ness of your romantic relationship. Keep at it and you will slowly realize you feel better. I am still growing, but after 3 years of counseling (went there because I was completely paralyzed with depression and anxiety and shame, though I didn't fully understand anything but depression), I can say that I feel much different and better than when I started.

I moved away from my family for almost two years without counseling, and that was healing too. Slowly, I am seeing myself change to know my insides, make healthy decisions, and relax a little.
All the best on your journey - keep us posted !!!

I feel that way too. The exception is that I do go to him for emotional support and intimacy but he only provides before sex and then the sex happens and he's distant and cold again. He broke up with me a couple months ago. But he says he still loves me. It just makes me so confused because I would do anything for him if I still love him.

it's a sad way to live, i don't even know how to break the cycle... if you need to vent you can talk to me.

The thing to do is work on yourself and heal,
You can not fix another only yourself. He sounds
Emotionally unavailable and thats often what
Codependents find one way or another.

Its not About sex its about intimacy issues, self
love and good healthy boundaries. We need
Those to attract a good healthy person into our
Lives.

This stuff takes so much work when from
dysfunctional Abusive homes. Thats where
The retraining and reparenting come in and
not being Active in any addictions. HUGS