Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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Love?

mlr0853
mlr0853

I came across this video about how love is craved to avoid 'being ourselves, being in chaos, and avoiding knowing ourself' and it toally resonated with my former codependent life. I was searching for my night in white shining armor "to make me happy". No one and nothing came bring happiness, happiness I believe needs to start within before we can be whole. Not as a person waiting to have our needs met, again not by someone else, rather knowing self, giving to self, and meeting our own needs to be 'whole before going into a relationship'.


This belief was a Huge eye opener for me to move past the sick love codependent behavior brought into my life. I hope you will understand how lonleness and fear brought me to these sick relationships, how wanting to feel proud, "Yes" I have someone! I can be happy now!! Sometimes I felt even more self-loathing, rejection, and hurt because my "love man" wasn't able to give me what I needed, because "I" didn't know what I needed or wanted. 


Excepting me, and understanding my 'love' was mainly superficial because I was needy, trying to fix, or seeking sex to feel attention and comfort...in actuality my codependent love was returned by selfish men who used me, and I allowed this behavior instead of obtaining respect, a partnership on an even level of not just 50/50 give and take, rather I began to understand, relationship are not based on the current life we live, rather they are based on so much that comes from what is with in, and we need to know and understand ourselves, be ok with ourselves, and to sit in our own truth to be open to a health love.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmUayKnHWWM




mirandac
mirandac
Great share, codependent relationships are
Interesting, HUGS
Dandelion
Dandelion
Using another person, place or thing, in other words anything outside oneself, for happiness is a band aid.
mlr0853
mlr0853
pretty much D. I grew up with two controlling and emotionally unavailable alcoholic parents. I learned the lessons of codependent behaviors really well. I think my biggest problems were to fix, keep the peace, and seek attention, do any anything and way I could to be noticed. take care, ml
Lovelyklw
Lovelyklw
This ezplains me a lot. Im am a love adduct wi chases adter. Someobe who us nit good ir right for me. I see it right from the beginnung but hold on for dear life as they pull away all the while knowing they are no good for me. My last relationship just ended last week this was the second time he dumped me. I know he had a drug and alcohol problem. He has a hard time stayibg in a commited rekationship he lies abd cheats. but akk i can see is the good times we shared. He made me feek whole beautiful sexy. But u was always stressed throught the rekationship. Obssesive thoughts. Why arent i giod enough how can i make him like me. Hes all about image. Hes always looking for something better. I know what yr going through it is oainful. I just wish i could see him like a hhealthyperson would. That he has a lot of problems and is not relationship material
mlr0853
mlr0853
Hi L, was there anything different the second time around? Above was before I started working on my codependent behaviors in alanon...many years ago. I thank God, I know when to run for my life these days when I meet someone who I see """Potential in"""" rather than seeing/hearing their behaviors and what they say..."the good times?" do they measure up to all the pain you are dealing with now? best, ml
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