Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Sunshine1183
I've posted my story recently and just wanted to post an update and get feedback. Alittle bit of my story, my husband stared using while I was pregnant and cheating. He went into a sober living 4 months away which is 3 hours away from us. Just this week he said there is too much damage in our marriage to repair it and he wants a divorce. It kills me that he is willing to throw it all away without ever trying to work on it and keep our family together. I went ahead and filed the divorce papers cause it's what he wants. I don't have any expectations anymore but I do hope that him being in recovery for a year or more he will see what's he's losing and decide he wants to be a family against am I crazy for hoping he sees what he's walking away from?
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If I come to DS and it won't do anything when I click "Login", I go to a post, click and then click "Leave a Reply". Then it will let me log in.Of course, sometimes DS just goes to "Error 504". Then I can't log in.


Wondering why "you" filed when you don't want a divorce.
Making 'his' life easier by 'taking his responsibility" away, since he wants divorce.
Enabling.
Since 'you' filed, you might want to find out 'who' is responsible for the court costs.
At the same time, ask if you can ""un-file""
The other option is for you to mourn the loss and start the healing and moving on phase of your life. Some day (maybe sooner than you imagine) you will look back and realize that you’re better off without him. Wanting comfort from the one who hurt us is a double edged sword. On the surface it may feel like it gives you worth but deeper it can slowly hurt your your spirit.
I know this first hand. I stayed with my wife after her affair and it took over ten years to care enough about myself to let it go and heal. Because I kept waiting for her to somehow take the hurt from me. That was my codependent clue that I denied seeing.
Had a major shift in perspective a few years ago and have been working on accepting and loving myself since.
Anyway I’m glad you posted. Get it all out. The more you can hold this in the light the less it will settle in deep places where it’s harder to get to.
Take care of yourself. For you and your daughter. Make healthy meals, drink plenty of water, exercise. Less tv and more reading. You can heal. By creating the desire to be a stronger person and taking soft steps toward that you will see change happen. It may be slow. Have patience.