I can't really relate, but when I feel sad I don't like to do much. What do you like to do for fun?

As Codas our lonliness (or feelings of emptiness and/or unworthiness)can cause us to get involved with people and/or things that are not in our best interest...and are even self destructive. Learning to fill that "hole" inside with our own passions and interests is key, for me. I really like the book FEEILNG GOOD by David D. Burns. It is a cognitive therapy approach that helps to correct your thinking...it is our thoughts that make us feel bad. A counselor recommended this book to me a few years ago and it has been very helpful. Hugs and blessings to you.

Maybe you have depression? It might be advisable to get an evaluation with a psychiatrist.

I have felt that way the last few months. Try and do things that make u happy. Start new routines. Spring is around the corner. Sunshine helps!

I can relate to what you are saying. I can feel lonely in a room full of people. And for the past few months I feel I have lost my will to live. It's like there is nothing for me anymore. I will lay in bed for days because I feel there is no reason to get out of it. I remember the days when I was always doing one thing or another, always finding something to do. I always kept a clean house and had some kind of social life. Now all of that seems to have slipped away. I think to myself "what can I do to change this? what is the first step?" I haven't figured that one out yet. I read books and research the internet for now. I'm hoping that one day I'll magically snap back to my old self. I guess all we can do is take it one day at a time.

Have you tried therapy? Worked wonders for me.

Thank you all for your responses. I can see where my question was a little broad. I really wasn't even sure what I was asking when I posted that question- I just felt like garbage. I've been in therapy. I've been attending group meetings for ACOA. And I think I figured it out. I've been trying to date. And dating has never been a pleasant thing for me b/c it makes me relive my fear of abandonment from childhood. I feel like a scared child when I date and it seems to permeate into the other aspects of my life. It's like I've lived my entire life with a hole in my heart and there's a part of me that just accepts that it's always going to be that way. And it's like a sort of understanding I have with myself. Like- ok I'm not happy, but as long as I don't rock the boat and try to push through the confusion and fear that accomnpanies that hole and find happiness- then I won't be absolutely miserable. And that was a deal I was good with for a while. But not anymore. I know I deserve better than not absolutely miserable. And I know I have to fight through my fear of abandonment in order to ever have a healthy relationship. I have to stop abandoning myself. I just have no earthly idea how I'm going to do that. My therapist tells me that even if I don't know the answer to a question and even if I can't fathom finding an answer to the question- I should always ask the question out loud and the universe will provide me with an answer.

I asked it out loud and I appreciate your responses. I think i have to look into this abandonment thing a lot more. I think it's b/c I feel all alone. Unfortunately I live w my ma and my father lives about 20 minutes from there. And it's like being near them makes me long for a parent even though I'm an adult. B/c I never got one. They are both adult children. They always have been. I've never gotten any parenting from them and I never will. And living there tricks me into thinking I need that from them. It's messed up and I have to leave. But I just have no idea how to do that.

I keep escaping reality. I smoke weed every night. I binge when I do. I just don't want to face my reality. I'm 31, fat, alone, and I live at home b/c I can't afford to leave. None of that is going to change unless and until I face it for what it is. No one in this world, including my parents, will ever be able to turn back the clock and make it so I had a happy childhood. Even if my parents were perfect for the rest of my days I would still have this void. B/c the answer to filling the void doesn't lie within anyone else but me. Yes, my parents gave me this void. But its mine now. And I have to learn to deal with it. B/c not dealing with it makes it deal with me. And the result is debilitating loneliness.

I can relate to the 'fear of abandonment' feeling. I actually have a bf now but im so scared of him abandoning me and he senses my insecurity sometimes, ugh, its not attractive. I'm trying so hard to change my pessimistic and insecure view on things. Im not a religious person but i feel like those negative thoughts are the devil! lol.. Its like hes trying to keep us unhappy or scared.

I joined the gym recently and it does help a lot, afterwards Im too tired to worry about anything or feel any major anxiety. I still go back to my old clingy ways sometimes w/ my bf though but i guess i cant expect to change overnight either. Do you have any friends/acquaintances you can hang out with sometimes? Do you have anything you enjoy doing? Dating was so annoying for me too, constant roller-coaster of emotions. I like stability and i felt dating was unstable. But I believe its all about how we perceive things. Dating should be viewed as "fun" in a healthy manner, taken lightly, nonchalantly, not so serious and that was my mistake i feel. How about trying a different mental approach towards dating? and if it doesn't work out, So what? I know it can be mentally exhausting but maybe you can try to brain wash yourself and just say "So what! Moving on to the next"...