Kids are dependent until they turn into adults... when you say I do too much for kids what does that mean? You dont assign chores to kids... do you keep your life on standstill to get their things done? Setting some boundaries might help. Your kids turned codependent or not will dependent how healthy you are. ..

I have a 1 year old and a 3 year old, and I am always worried about the same things. Try looking into Attachment Parenting. It has helped me. It is about showing your kids that you are there for them when you need them, and making them comfortable to experience things and try things on their own. I have to set clear boundaries for my 3 year old. She has to pick up her toys before I will read her a bedtime story. She must say please after she asks for something. This way it holds both of us accountable for how things should go. I don't give in to her and she can't manipulate me. This way kids feel stable and know what to expect. Making your kids happy is all parents want to do. I love to see my daughter light up with joy, and it's so hard when I have to tell her no. But I stand behind my reasons for my no, and understand it will make her stronger. Yesterday we went out shopping, and she wanted to go to the park. Rule is we do our shopping first and then go to the park. When we passed by the park she threw a bit of a fit. She got over it, and when we were done she got to play at the park. Now I'm just working on her not throwing a fit. Work in progress I guess.
Another rule I try with her is the "You have to try once first" rule. If she asks for help, I make her try by herself once. I will give her some encouragement, and then the second time show her step by step. Most often than not I just have to start her off and she can finish it by herself.
I'm not sure how old your kids are, so I don't know how much help this is. I can tell you though that my parents were not codependent. I had a good childhood, no drugs or anything, and never really wanted for anything. My parents always helped me out. But I think it was a different aspect that caused my problems. My parents never just listened to me. I couldn't talk to them. I was never good enough, my grades never high enough. So I started to hide everything negative about myself. Hide my report cards in my room, never talk about my problems. I was always trying to make my parents happy, to get approval. So be there for your kids yes, but be there to listen and not judge. Let your kids know that it is ok to fail. But then encourage them to try again. If they get a bad grade, you can be disappointed, but don't scream and yell. Don't tell them how horrible they are. Explain to them why its important they get good grades, and sit down with them and form a plan together to help get the grade up. I'm sorry, I am no parenting pro. I like to think that I would be stronger if my parents supported me emotionally more. All I can do is try to heal and do better with my kids. Good Luck mysteryman. We're all here for you.

Since I am codependent, I have a hard time setting boundaries. Just worried because in the past I would clean up behind them, not make them to clean there room. I have gotten a lot better, for the most part.

It is really hard, I know how you feel. I tell my daughter no and she breaks down in a puddle of tears. It breaks my heart. You can try setting consequences. If they don't clean up their rooms they can't go out to play. Puts the responsibility on them to finish the task. Keep at it! You got this!

Every parent needs to set rules for their children, which includes cleaning up after themselves. You teach the children all the way through their many years how to be independent, even at a point teaching them how to do laundry, cooking, banking, writing checks, food shopping, IN ADDITION TO LEARNING TO DRIVE A CAR, because they will go out on their own and you want them fully prepared to be able to be independent, able to handle the world on their own and any crises that come their way.