Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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Addiction & Recovery
/ Codependency Support Group

Kicking off my first meeting this week

Albertalloydguy
Albertalloydguy

So I have been codependant to my ex for most of the 4 years relationship.    We could never get our shit together and along with it I'm am a love addict 


I bent over backwards for so long that I lost myself and all my self esteem.    I'm at a point that I'm looking for validation from friends to feel the emptiness that being codependant has left.    What do I do now ?    
I do t want to consume my buddies with my drama but still want a listening post like maybe a sponsor.      I'm really lost to know what to expect at this meeting.   


the last year there was infidelity and I still can't just walk away from her.    What the hell do I do.   

mlr0853
mlr0853
The best way you can help yourself 'now' is to focus on you only. Eat well, sleep well, drink fluids. Being around positive people, less talk about 'drama' and more talk about moving forward with changes in your life...things you have been putting off? goals? things that fill you up. As far as your x goes, the behavior, words and actions Are Not Your Responsibility! Right now the only responsibility is to face what is in Your Best Interests. You have a choice/decision to make...maybe some time apart to work on the codependent relationship, or make a clean break.
urbangardener
urbangardener
Get a notebook and start a handwritten journal. Every day, or every evening, write down your thoughts and feelings. You are right that this codependent stuff is a burden on our friends because they are not our therapists. They can listen to some of it as friends, but people who just moan and groan about their lives often find they lose friends. I am going to suggest you get counseling. Even a sponsor can't be a listening post 24/7 like you want. Being dependent on another person for validation is the habit we have to break by changing how we think. A listening post is often our way of seeking validation. I had to find self validation within myself. I have to remind myself to seek self validation within myself when I am wishing I had that listening post. Sometimes it is easier to talk and talk when the road to recovery is by doing the hard work to not just talk but to do the walk. I personally found The New Codependency by Melody Beattie very helpful for me. There are exercises and things to think about.
Albertalloydguy
Albertalloydguy
Thank you for that. I’ll def look up that book. I’m in the middle of codependency no more. And going to my first meeting tonight
urbangardener
urbangardener
Codependency No More was her first book and The New Codependency is the "revised" version or her second version. Read the first one and then try the second and do the exercises at the end of each chapter. Best to you.
Albertalloydguy
Albertalloydguy
So I wen to a meeting and it was more of a sit and listen that night but I dont feel I was alone in my thinking, I have started to write in a journal but I ALSO FOUND THAT I forget to do it, so its set a reminder time and not make excuses, Lots of reading and started a workbook for dealing with love addiction I think it goes hand in hand.

Thank you all for the words of wisdom I read everyones stories and dont feel so alone now . Happy new year to everyone
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