"If I have a traumatic experience and cant tell anyone about it, no one in my social world will know what Im thinking and feeling. I will be preoccupied with the emotional event. The longer I live with this secret, the more detached I will be from others in my social world. Almost by definition, I will become more and more isolated. Ill be a poor listener, and will be guarded in my discussions with others. (Pennebaker, 2001, p. 42)"

This is so true for codependents. Often, it's some old traumatic experience that causes us to then hide our feelings and experiences from those we love again and again. When I read this today, I remembered how friends used to tell me I didn't listen and that I was cold and logical. It was because I wouldn't, no, I couldn't share my feelings. So the feelings, and the feelings about those feelings, controlled me. I couldn't interact, I couldn't listen, and I had to keep the guard up at all times. I have to keep this in mind because sometimes this old habit creeps in. I came across this in my school research and it hit me today. I thought I'd share. Hope you all are doing well.

Ladyla

Full citation:
Pennebaker, J. (2001). Explorations into the health benefits of disclosure: Inhibitory, cognitive, and social processes. In L. LAbate (Ed.), Distance writing and computer assisted interventions in psychiatry and mental health (pp.25-55). London: Westport.