hi rib,
i just moved out of a toxic environment and was getting similar reactions- i have medication to control the anxiety but now i just feel flat with all these pent up emotions and no idea how to discharge - hate feeling numb. If there is anyone out there who knows how to release these emotions in a healthy controlled setting (ie not panic attacks) I too would be very grateful, but thought I woukd reply as I am in the same boat as you rib, and yes I do think it's to do with codependency, it seems the anger/frustration are unresolved childhood feeling which you were unable to express at the time - but I too am at a loss as to how to get these out.

I can relate to both of your sentiments and I think what you are describing is quite normal. Recovery is not a smooth road, it is bumpy with many twists and turns. Sometimes you may even go backwards, albeit briefly.

Confronting those emotions is a very positive step and I applaud you both for it. Questioning why you feel like you do is a very good indicator that you are starting to get a grip and wanting to take control of your life.

If you can, I would strongly suggest you find a counsellor that you can visit on a regular basis. I have seen a counsellor every two weeks for quite a long time. In those sessions I have done everything from crying, laughing, shouting, cussing and even storming out in a rage. But I needed to do those things.

A good counsellor, will gently bring these things to the surface, so you can establish where they originate and can then help you deal with them. As you deal with each one, it will hurt, but you will take another giant leap forwards.

Unfortunately there is no gain without some emotional pain, but getting those emotions out of your system will help you greatly.

If a counsellor is too expensive, then a support group is the next best option.

thanks redshoes87, I get the "flat" feeling at times too....I think you're right about the supressed emotions that I wasn't able to get out as a child/teenager. I'm just taking it one day at a time and allowing myself to recognize the feelings that are there, and process them as best as I can. Since I've been able to do this my anxiety/panick attacks seem shorter. -- @TorturedMind, thanks for the comments and advice, I agree that feeling the pain is hard but it's growth. I try to remind myself of that when I feel it. It doesn't feel good but I'm glad it's rising to the surface finally and I get to release it. I have been going to a counselor but I may not have the right one. I find it to be not so helpful for some reason. Daily strength is actually helping me more....I actually get input, advice, comments, feedback, etc. With the particular counselor I've been seeing, I find that I talk and talk and talk, and he listens, but doesn't offer much advice or input. He really just listens. Not to bash my counselor but I'm there because I need someone to guide me in the right direction. He's a great listener but I don't leave there feeling much better. I'm trying to fix the problem and find a solution. he did recommend Al-Anon in the first meeting but since then it's just been listening with not much feedback. I need feedback LOL. Thanks again to you both for taking the time to comment. I'll keep truckin' along....

It sounds like your counsellor is not doing a good job providing you with the support and help you need. My sessions have always been very interactive with equal air time for the two of us. He also holds mini-reviews every once in a while to reflect on our progress. Maybe I got lucky with mine.

I don't blame you for seeking support/help elsewhere. In fact I think that is a very positive thing to be doing.

Regarding your original post, I have no idea what triggers bouts of anxiety either. I just think that every once in a while, something innocent may remind us of some past experience and that event brings it to the front of our minds. I guess it's no different to the way in which we may sometimes experience a bout of grief, when we recollect someone that we may have lost a very long time ago. Every now and then, for no reason, those thoughts perculate back up to the surface.

Try not to let those emotions fester, see if you can find a channel where you can let them out so you can confront them. If you don't have such a channel then you can always use this forum.

These sound like Panic Attacks, I don't have them but I had a roommate with them once. I don't know if she was able to change them but she said she felt like she wanted to run out of a room, but there was nowhere for her to feel safe. I believe hers were caused by anxiety. I wish you luck with them my friend.

May want to talk with your doctor about them. Such symptoms do not need specific triggers related to codependancy. If you are taking meds than anxiety is a side effect of some meds. In my case my extreme anxiety was due to being sexually abused as a kid. That is not codependancy, though it could bring on codependancy. Once I learned this Ihave done much to not allow the anxiety to control me as it is not a part of me. But you have to know, if indeed the anxiety is due to something unrelated to codependancy. We as people atre WHOLE persons after all and COMPLETE anatomies. We are not just persons with codependancy when it comes to anxiety, etcetra

I still get triggers from time to time... Oh will.
I can make a mointain of a mole...or it's bumps on the roads.

I don't think it's codependency.
I think I've experience a lot of stuff in my life.
All of that gets store in my brain. Sometimes they pop
into my awearness or triggers. Other times I just feel like crap for no
particular reason.

I can use simply healthy living tools.
Living and breathing a meditation...
I can try to figure all that shit out/run with it or
Or just be an observer and let whatever comes up, comes up.
Let it go through me...being none resistance, or detach...ect
Let go....

The thing of it is...Im a lot easier to deal with.
I can deal with me. I have control over me.

I cried my heart out yesterday...
Well, I love my daughter. She's really torn up.
I don't stuff my feelings today. I cried because it hurts.
Im not numb out or spun out.
It's not chornic......

It's different then when I feel the so call sickness codi feeling.
I use to run a fever and a sharp pain or slither in my head.
I know what that feeling is

There's heatly feelings even if it's hurt, pains or anger.

You can try EFT (tapping) or the Sedona method.
It's about feeling whatever you feel and letting them go.
If it comes up again. You let go again.

Thanks everyone, It has been better lately but it gets frustrating when I have these anxiety feelings come up and no idea what brought it on. I have a ton of things in my childhood that I know caused or contributed to my anxiety. Like living with an alcoholic/angry rageful father who was emotionally abusive and physically abusive to my Mom. To this day they are married and my Mom says "it wasn't that bad" so frustrating. Anyhow.....I find that as I deal with things and process them as they come up, the anxiety is getting less and less...

Anxiety is actually a good emotion to have as it is there to protect you from something. although as codependents we have it a lot more than others and it wrecks havock with your life, in recovery i try to see it as a possitive sign that you are recovering and starting to heal. all of those burried memories and trauma caused great coping mechanisms and supressed emotions. now as we heal each thing as it comes up, we stop these coping mechanisms and allow the emotion to come up so you can deal with it and then let it go. of corse it will cause Anxiety, they are horrible things that we have been through, but hey we are recovering so after the anxiety it will be dealt with and gone. see it as foul tasting tablet that you have to have to get better!

@kande, thanks for the input. I agree. I am trying to look at it like each time it comes up, it means growth. I guess I just don't know why it comes up when it does. But maybe I'm not meant to know and maybe I'm just supposed to get it out and let it pass. I had pretty bad anxiety all weekend -- no idea why. Nothing out of the ordinary was going on, it was actually a pretty low key weekend, so that was frustrating.

@rib79
sorry you had a bad weekend, are you feeling any better now? i don't khow why these things come up when they do either, i wishi knew! one thing seems to clear, you just get used to feeling ok and then wham another comes for you to deal with! hey at least they are coming and we're dealing with them, they're not buried anymore. I've had a bad one today, tried to set boundaries on saturday, noone likes you setting them if you haven't set them before and they just hate it, so today was the next attempt to break me- it was working, i was cracking but i just kept remembering its the lack of boundaries that caused this so its either give in or get better. no one is worth giving up getting better for are they! be strong, it will be worth it x

Hi Kande,
I do feel better now....not sure what brought on the anxiety over the weekend. You're right, people don't like when boundaries are set where there weren't any before. I've been guilt tripped, made to feel bad, or "different" in a negative way, etc. But I just keep going on my path.....my choices are to give up and give in, or to keep trying and keep pluggin' away at my own recovery. I refuse to give up - I've done that for too long.

no we can't give up, we've come this far and we need to keep at it. if we were ok as it was without boundaries before then we wouldn't be on this path or on this site now. remember how bad and distressing life was and how we personally decided to change it. we made the decission as we wanted a new way of life and we will get there! a tough road but woth it in the end!

dang mental illness, &/r restrained emotions that occ. rare it's head.
Oh medication that is a mood stablizer n/r mellow pills, seem to work,
as will as pulling off side of road to let the moment pass. Yep sometimes after incident, might feel the need to take a nap.
Get a lot of pencels n put them on your desk/beside your bed... with couple of soft hair brushes. during such moments stay away from good china. You will only half to clean it up, n more than likely you will step on 1 sliver that you miss that you had clean up most of pc.' of glass.
Aw, time to search for Dr. as liken to P-Dr. or P-Nurse to help you understand n get meds that u might need, as will as obtaining tools.
Yr.s ago I did a test on my envioroment. yep I narrow down the problem. I replaced my formor husband, husband at time with my Pom dog. I haven't had any problems since then. Sorry I loved him but I love myself more.