Hi,

Just feel the feelings. I also find that my thoughts trigger my feelings, so I can change my thoughts which in turn changes my feelings. Sometimes, I just have to deal with being sad, if the situation is sad. But if it is not tragic, I can focus on something else. When I do that, the sad feeling goes away all by itself.

Shar

Yep, you have to feel your feelings. No other way to get better.

Ouch. I had a 'feeling' that you might say that. ;) Seriously though, what about the craving feeling? Will it ever go away or do I just have to put up with feeling it on and off on a regular basis for the rest of my life?

agree we spend so much time and effort trying not to feel our pain. but it does not go away. it might be less intense when we are in a good place, but as soon as the place we are in is not as great as it was, the pain is still there waiting to be deal with. other ways to look at this is - the inner child is still there wanting comforted as another failed relationship or situation arises. this does not mean that if we have stuffed our feelings for years that we must face all the pain and fear and feelings of low self-esteem all at once. that would be devestating and unhealthy. i have had to tell myself that i can only deal with things in a baby step matter. dont overwhelm yourself. one day at a time or one feeling at a time

Your "cravings" will get better over time if you actually deal with your feelings. I hadn't cried in years because I was completely shut down. As I was packing up my stuff to move out I had a meltdown. I have cried pretty hard since leaving, but it's been a while now. When something upsets me a have a little cry, but I don't feel overcome with emotion like I did when I first left. It's hard trying to make it on my own, and every once in a while I have a little pity party for myself, but then I get on with the business of building a new life for myself. It's not easy, but it does get better. The only way out is through.

1. You need to feel what you are feeling and let it go.If you focus you will notice that these feelings are coming from you childhood. There are lot of articles on how to let go of feelings - google it.
2. At root level - Work on being loving parent for you Inner child that's vulnerable at times and needs the love nurture care. If she/he isn't taken care of than it will be feelings as cravings for adult. Affirmations, Meditation helps.

I guess I mis-read your post the first time so I want to add to the thread again.
Those cravings may be a desire to squelch the pain. I tend to want to seek something outside of myself to ease my inner pain. But like those before me have stated, we must feel the pain. If we repress it, we will still continue to bleed because the pain does not go away until we face it like a brave warrior. We face it when we are ready to face it but we need to know that our typical MO is to seek relief out side ourselves and that is more scary than facing the inside pain because the things we often seek to relieve the pain 9 times out of 10 leads to some type of addiction. Then we compound our problems....... so in reality, the easier way out is to face the pain and get free and move on with our lives that are like a wisp in the air anyways.

The craving comes up as a feeling that I want something from someone or feel a compulsion to do something that's so bad that it can sometimes create tangible physical pain. I am scared of my emotions because when the negative emotions are really strong it can manifest itself as physical pain. It goes away and I know this, but there's still something disturbing about it.

Kenoa, what you said about using some kind of addiction to get rid of the craving resonated with me. Just recently I've realised that people around me probably experienced similar feelings and resorted to addiction because it was too painful to face them. I used to just shut the door on my emotions because I grew up in an environment where crying was seen as weak and hiding emotions from others was seen as a virtue. I always had this instinctive feeling that there was something wrong with this, but nonetheless, it influenced me. Every couple of weeks I cry about something and I get a wonderful sense of release but I do it on my own because I don't need to cry with anyone else and don't want to be called weak for doing it.

It sounds like it's a combination of just something I have to go through in bits and pieces, something I have to face. It does also sound as though I have some letting go to do. I'll do the googling. :)