Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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Addiction & Recovery
/ Codependency Support Group

Im new here toojust a hello

sunnyjax
sunnyjax
Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself.

I am on my fourth Husband having had a string of disastrous relationships.
My current Husband has codependent traits too.
He has caused me lots of pain and I have had enough.

I found an old diary from twenty years ago and I felt the same then that I do now. I slowly realised and accepted it was ME not them or him. And I am seeing a therapist just lately. ( although its clear I made bad choices too! )

I am nearly 50 with 3 lovely children, I have gone back to study.

I am hoping to gain insight from others here and work on myself and get healthy.

Not sure what will happen with my relationship yet but at the moment Im giving myself the time to get better.

Thanks everyone. xxx
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi sunnyjax,

I'm in a similar situation... learning again, at the tender age of 52, that men are not Prince Charming sent to rescue me from myself. And that I can still pursue my own dreams...

Here's to new ways of living our lives... blessed be!
scar2
scar2
Welcome to the group. I'm 45 and only been healing from codependency the last few years. I used to see myself as this great martyr & always getting involved with people who wanted to be saved. It wasn't until later that I realized I was broken myself. I would put all my energy on others because I didn't like myself enough to look at my own issues. It wasn't until I put myself first that I started healing. It's something that I have to work on for the rest of my life. I hope the same for you.
sunnyjax
sunnyjax
Thanks for the hellos!

I think my coD issues started when I was raped when I was 7, by a very old man, or so he seemed at the time. But I never told anyone, this is also at the root of it - why did I feel I couldn't tell?!

So we are ever evolving and learning - THIS IS GOOD!
I feel sad for the lost years of pain and anguish but hopeful for the future now I know it is in my own hands.
deleted_user
deleted_user
sunnyjax,

My codependency also results from sexual abuse at an early age. I also didn't tell anyone...I have even yet to tell my therapist! It's hard to explain why we feel we can't talk about those events...I think a part of me felt like I would get in trouble or that it was just as much my fault as it was his?

So glad to have you here!
sunnyjax
sunnyjax
I think I didn't tell because I didn't want to upset anyone!
Especially my Dad.
Or have a fuss made.

Good to know you daisy!!! x
deleted_user
deleted_user
It doesn't matter what age we begin the journey, not what we have done in the past to ourselves or others have done to us. It matters what we chose today, what we have done to prevent others from continuing to hurt us. What we've done to accept responsibility for our lives without placing blame. Learning to forgive and accept that these horrible things have happened and that with a brave choice, from our decisions "Not to live the insanity we have learned any longer." To begin a new way of looking at our lives. No longer as a victim but as a VICTOR.