you are not your debt. you are not your father. you are not your past. you are not where you have been or what you have done. you are not your job. you are not least of all anything your boyfriend happens to think you are.

you are a human being and you do not deserve to have anyone pass that kind of judgment on you for circumstances largely out of your control, but more so because nobody can tell you your worth.

i understand sometimes it is sometimes easy to fall into this trap and let others tell you how you are, but mostly it is wrong. people spend their whole life telling negative to others, because they don't feel good in themselves. You are good exactly as you are, and your boyfriend has no right to say those things.

You define your worth, and what your life is, does not affect your worth. Many people have a difficult life and are lovely strong people.. I am sure of that and that you are so, too.

Don't worry what he says and don't take his words, Build yourself up. You can do good in this world, and i know it is difficult, but all you need to do is realize your potential. Nobody can label what you can go toward in this life.

Your not alone. I know it hurts sometimes. Life is not so far, but I promise there is some good left. I think it is so. If i am wrong, i will let you know.

Do good for yourself take care of yourself.

listen to ponyo, sunsets... i know it is easier for me to give this advice since i myself am struggling to take it, but do not give up YOUR power to anyone, let alone someone like that... your words echo my pain...my own struggles with suicide...my very toxic relationship... but he is not worth your life...no one is... i am here for you... i joined DS because i too am done with the pain i feel...but i choose life & am finding the help i need to do so... i have cancer now for the 3rd time..if i am choosing to hang on, can't you please hang on too, with me??

sunsets, i am worried about you...please check in & let me know you are ok....

ok, i need to get some rest...i will pray that you have not done anything to harm yourself...

Sunsets, I hope this is just a cry for some attention and I'm here to say that you do not have to live that way anymore. We all make our bed and lie in it! There are different options for you! Believe me, I was there! One year ago, I looked in the mirror and hated everything I saw. Literally, looked in the mirror and starting crying. I decided that NO I would NOT accept that and I would do everything in my power to change it. It's hard work but it can be done. Are you really sick of it? So sick of it that you will try something Different? If so, then pick up girl and make the change. It's in you.... Best wishes...

Look, I don't even know you, and you are worth something to me. Your input here helps other people, and when I have read your posts in the past, I saw a lot of me (20 years ago) in you. I completely understand what it's like to literally feel hopeless, but I learned something very important: I have worth because God put me on this earth. I didn't even realize it at the time, but I am here for a purpose. Maybe your posting your journey here so that other people can be helped by it is your purpose. At 20 years old, I moved to a strange city, had an abusive, failing marriage, quit college, abandoned my family of origin and was working both at the mall and waitressing trying to make ends meet. I left my husband, stayed in the new city, and worked very hard. I made it, and you can too.

Sunsets - If your boyfriend says you are a dog ... Do you see yourself as Dog?

You are an extreme codependent so was my mom who killed herself when I was 6 year old... I can never get over that trauma in my life ever. If killing yourself is the only thing than we all have killed over selves longtime ago because our pain is worse in its own way.

Get to a therapist NOW.

Hi Sunsets,

I see you as a beautiful young woman with a lot to look forward to. Right now, you are just not where you want to be, but it can change. Please do not give up on yourself. We are all struggling here together, but there is more to life than bad.

I hope you check in soon, too, because I am also worried about you.

Hugs,

Shar

do not let others determine your worth,...everyone on this board has problems and hardships of varying degrees,..you have your entire life ahead of you, PLEASE find the strength to defeat what is taking control of you. No matter how bad it seems, there are others who have worse obstacles, consider children who have to endure endless major surgeries from birth, or kids in orphanages who have illnesses and nobody to call their own or help them through everyday struggles. I believe you will come out of this okay, and be an inspiration to others,...that is my hope. Good luck to you.

No matter what anyone else thinks of you.. you do have value. You are here as part of a master plan, the plan of your Higher Power.

One of the things that would probably help you is to find a CoDA meeting or an Al-Anon meeting and start working the steps.

You need to re-establish that relationship with yourself and who you are. You need to love yourself again. Right now, its hard to see that, but with time.. you will. And once you take the time to really see yourself as a person of value, someone who DOES matter, you'll start to see all of the positive things you can do in your life.

It sounds like you are in school or recently out of it. Not sure what your financial situation is or medical coverage is.. but right now, a good therapist would be very helpful to you. Look into low cost community options or possibly support groups.

Please don't give up. You have value in this world. Don't forget that.

has she checked in with anyone? she has not posted anything since last night & i am worried...

shees online at least and yes i am worried too so hopefully she is ok

Sunsets, I would give you a ((HUG)) on your page, but since your settings are private, the HUG is here waiting for you. I know how painful it can get. When I can't stand myself anymore (if it's nighttime) -- I go to bed. If I can't sleep, I go for a long walk and do a lot of deep breathing. Look at the stars in the sky. Allow myself to experience a sense of awe. I take a hot bath. I sip herbal tea & journal it all out. Listen to music that soothes me. I cry. I punch pillows. I do what I need to do to release the emotions -- without hurting myself physically.

Because to abuse myself means I'm allowing the Other Person to continue to abuse me. I repeat: TO ABUSE MYSELF MEANS I AM ALLOWING THE OTHER PERSON TO CONTINUE TO ABUSE ME.

I am better than that. And so are you.

Remember this: When someone is pointing their finger at You, that means there are 3 Fingers Pointing Back At Himself. Think about that. And don't make any more excuses for him. No need to give him your power. It's time to reclaim your power and be gentle with yourself. You owe it to yourself.

When I feel I have no hope, I realize that if I change the thought, the feeling changes. And if I am having trouble changing the direction of my thinking, then I I try to sleep on it.

Because when I wake the next morning, I am so grateful to have a "clean slate" to start anew and I have a choice in how I want to approach my day.

Come back to us and stay awhile. We can learn from each other and find a better way of coping without self-destructing. I'm counting on it.

To Add: At the Bottom of this website ... Link says "Crisis Hotlines" -- and this is an excerpt from that link... I hope it's okay that I'm posting it here as a resource:

"What to do in a Crisis:

If you have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately.

If a member of our site is threatening to harm themselves or others, contact your local law enforcement authority.

If ever you are feeling despondent, suicidal, or simply in need of speaking with someone about your problems, please be aware that there are numerous hotlines with trained operators available to help you. These hotlines are free to use and completely anonymous.

Please note that these resources are not associated with DailyStrength. This list last updated 09/26/2011.

Remember that these organizations exist to help you:

Suicide Prevention / Depression
USA: Hopeline (Suicide): 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
USA: Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-8255)
USA: Teen Hotline Covenant House NineLine: 1-800-999-9999
USA: SOS Teen Hotline: 1-800-949-0057
USA: Grief Recovery Helpline : 1-800-445-4808
USA: Directory of local helplines / centers
UK: Samaritans (Nat'l and local): 08457 90 90 90 or jo@samaritans.org


Rape, Abuse & Domestic Violence
USA: Nat'l. Center For Missing & Exploited Children: 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678)
USA: Childhelp (Child Abuse): 1-800-4ACHILD
USA: Nat'l. Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
USA: Safe Horizons Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-621-HOPE
USA: RAINN Nat'l. Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE
USA: Nat'l. Center on Elder Abuse: 1-800-677-1116
USA: National Runaway Switchboard:1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929)
UK: Women's Aid Domestic Violence Helpline: 0808 2000 247

Substance Abuse / Alcoholism
USA: National Drug Information Treatment and Referral Hotline: 800-662-HELP (4357)
USA: Alcohol Abuse and Crisis Intervention: 800-234-0246
USA: National Cocaine Hotline: 800-COCAINE (262-2463)
UK: Drinkline: Nat'l. Alcoholism Helpline: 0800 917 8282
NZ: Alcohol / Drug Helpline: 0800 787 797

Thanks for sharing valuable info amelah