Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I care too much. About people who are terrible towards me. Family and coworkers. I try too hard. I have many physical issues, and also suffer from depression, anxiety and bipolar. Lord knows i have enough of my own problems, yet i am constantly obsessed with other peoples' problems and/or issues. How can i stop this. It backfires. Then this gives these people even more of a chance to treat me bad. When will i stop trying so hard with people who are mean and hurtful???
People treated us bad. We were told it was because of something that we did to "deserve" it. So we tried harder and harder and harder.
The lie is that we did anything to cause this. It was the adults around us who were out of control. We were the easy blame targets.
By the way, this is why Booky's suggestion of "taking the blame" for anything other than our own actions, and feelings is such an outrage. It is just moving back into childhood behaviors.
Now you have to learn that you have value and deserve to be treated kindly with courtesy.
There is a way to start; you just notice these things.
NO JUDGEMENTS! (That is a hard part. But when you notice that you are being judgmental about yourself, just notice that.)
If you just let your brain notice, it will eventually work out choices BEFORE you behave in ways that you don't want. Eventually, you will notice that you are making choices.
Most likely you view your own problems as being way to BIG and scary for you to confront and so the little problems that other people have are just a diversion.
Turning away from others and start dealing with your self is not such an easy thing to do, but that is the only way to end the cycle.
In the Bible Jesus said this = "... cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye." Luke 6:42 KJV.
That is = take care of your self first.
P.S.
What Booky said about taking all the blame onto our self even when other people are at fault is to do this same thing = Take care of your self first because we are responsible for everything in our life.