Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Hi all
I have found that my biggest weakness is that I find myself comparing to people either in general or at family occasions, i should be prettier, or more in control, should be thinner, richer, better job, more money, then i attack myself not for being that way and then i feel like rubbish and go into self destructive negative thoughts.
I am not happy with my hair and i think it is thinner than the normal womans hair for my age and i wear glasses. I dont know how to have that inner confidence? any suggestions? thanks
Love you all,
Pam
I have found that my biggest weakness is that I find myself comparing to people either in general or at family occasions, i should be prettier, or more in control, should be thinner, richer, better job, more money, then i attack myself not for being that way and then i feel like rubbish and go into self destructive negative thoughts.
I am not happy with my hair and i think it is thinner than the normal womans hair for my age and i wear glasses. I dont know how to have that inner confidence? any suggestions? thanks
Love you all,
Pam
As such you are created perfect by your Father God and you are really a princess as a daughter to the King of Kings.
God created other people with different attributes, as some people are prettier and some are smarter and some are richer and we too are what God has created us to be.
There are other people who are far less blessed then we are too.
That is the point - that we each must find satisfaction with our self because this is the hand which we were dealt.
Comparing is competition, and instead be happy that you are what you are, and those other people have their own problems and defects too.
By having the higher power of God looking over top of us all then that makes so we are all truly equal and distinct.
First, you MUST sit yourself down with pencil and paper, then write
>>the things that you actually can change
>>the things that you have to just live with
Choose to accept those things that are out of your control.
Choose ONE THING that you actually can change. Make a plan for how to change that ONE THING only.
Find a book of affirmations. Get a bunch of index cards. Write down those affirmations which speak to your heart and soul.
Then each day, read thru each one out loud!
It takes time but these will help you a lot!
i told therapist i am always compared to my brother the golden child the one with smarts i should be more like him according to my mom. she praises him for how he is so successful my mom didn't help him with his success my sister did, sister told him to join the air force which he did, etc he had the confidence. nobody didn't do that for me he has a successful career and i have nothing i do have a degree but no successful career. so i hate everything about myself
God has greater authority then does our parents.
You grew up in a household with a narcissist parents. What you need is specialized therapy from a therapist trained in dealing with the abuse from narcissist parent.
Find books about Narcissist and read about it. Figure out your place. That is the first step.
You are not likely codependent but suffering from an abusive childhood with narcissist abuse syndrome. It is harder to heal by yourself but not impossible.
There is a great book called "the Narcissist Family" which explains all about it so you can understand it.
I suggest that you ask your current therapist for a referral. If she can't or won't give one, leave and find one with that specialty.