Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago without really ever giving me a reason. This wasn't a casual relationship we were actually discussing marriage . This break up was a shock and I think it took me 6 months to stop going back. Initially I kept trying and any nice thing he said or did I would use as "hope." I think I am now sure that there probably isn't anything I can do. So for the past few weeks I have stayed mostly away. I didn't answer any calls and I didn't respond to any emails for a while. Recently I have had this curiosity spark again on what happened between us and what his real reasons were. So I have started to answer back here and there. Mainly I keep it to a one line response. His mother was in the hospital and he text me about it so I kept the message short and simple basically saying I was sorry but nothing more.
My dilemma is do I need to know what happened to move on ? if so what is the best way to approach this topic with him again? why does he still call me and text me to update me on his life if he is so sure he never wants to marry me? If he is so much better off without me well why talk to me at all then ? I can admit when I have made mistakes or if I did anything that was so out of line but I truly cant think of anything on my end that I did to change things to what they are today. I hate sitting up nightly going over this and most nights I cant even sleep! any advice would be helpful . thank you everyone for reading
My dilemma is do I need to know what happened to move on ? if so what is the best way to approach this topic with him again? why does he still call me and text me to update me on his life if he is so sure he never wants to marry me? If he is so much better off without me well why talk to me at all then ? I can admit when I have made mistakes or if I did anything that was so out of line but I truly cant think of anything on my end that I did to change things to what they are today. I hate sitting up nightly going over this and most nights I cant even sleep! any advice would be helpful . thank you everyone for reading
Stuckinarut,
I think you have some good points. Nothing about a person is so defined that there may be a direct answer to it. I guess I wont really ever know exactly what it was. If he doesn't want to marry me well I guess at least he said it before we actually got married. That would have made this so much worse. I started seeing a therapist actually this past week! so far one apt only but I hope it continues to help !
Your looking for answers in another humans mind. You can get the answer but it will be irrelevant. We all have so many problems its rare that we ever talk the truth or even see a situation for what it really is. He could give you a million reasons why he left but they will only be true if you believe them to be true.
I think you have done really well over the six months to recognise their is nothing you can do. My advice is focus on your own life. Focus on your own mind. You should seek the truth within. Become the person you want to be. You may or may not get back together. Who knows. I would focus all your energy in making you the best you you can be! Love yourself then you will be blessed with true love.