Hi Jim, when I start to feel what you've described, and believe me, I feel that way 24/7, sometimes it's just a standard way of feeling, sometimes it gets intense .... when it does I try to distract my thoughts, I try not to let them carry me away in them ... not an easy thing to do, meditation, mindfulness of my breath, listening to music (instrumnental, the ones with words only add to my messed up feelings) ... I go for a walk ... I write a poem ... I find my way to ds ... I have a list of distraction techniques and believe me, I use them daily .... detaching from another and attaching to myself ... know what I mean?

Good Morning. something came over me last night shortly after writing this post. A new inner peace, calmness. I realized that some of my actions were as if I were a whinny little girl.. not very attractive.
Several weeks ageo, I started training in TaeKwonDo after a break for five years. I had made it as far as 2 tests away from black belt. I am going to finish, get my black and continue on to higher levels. This training clears the mind and brings a spiritual peace and well as traing the body. Need to get back to work or I will have all the time in the world to be out here. ha ha thanks. JIM

anytime you do something loving for yourself, you are starting to detach! so good for you.
i find that if i absolutely have to react this minute to something that is said or done, then it is no good for me and i need to take some time and sit with it. to feel it and then decide how to RESPOND rather than just react to what i am feeling at that nanosecond.
"the language of letting go" is a great book for showing us how we can detach in loving healthy ways. honest communication is a must.
blessings to you!

I posted this on it's own, but i know some of my friends won't see it there and i wanted to share this because it is so good and so useful. just a simple procedure to follow!

Seems today some folks on the board are in a lot of pain. Crying out, and don't know where to start. I just opened up to this writing in my new affirmation book by iyanla vanzant "faith in the valley".
It falls under the category "detachment/order"
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Everything in life is a process. Events occur one at a time until the process is complete. When you are faced with a difficulty in life, the question you must first answer is, what is my process? What are the steps I can take to begin working through and out of this situation? If you are an average, warmblooded human being, you probably don't have a process. Like the rest of us, the process is to panic. Until today!

No matter what is going on, you can only do one thing at a time. If you panic, you can't think. First step, think. Make every effort to have a bite-size idea of what is happening. Ten words or less should be fine. Look at one issue or problem at a time. Next, take yourself out of the situation. Depersonalize and define the situation by allowing yourself to become the third party. Think in terms of: look what is happening to her/him. Third step, examine everything you know about what is going on: who is involved, what has happened, what needs to happen. Resist blaming or imagining the worst, being angry or afraid. This is not about you; you are an observer.

Final step, without looking to outside forces, honestly place responsibility where it should be, with the resources and information available right now; advise the "other person" how to proceed. Don't worry about what might happen. Don't take the path of least resistance. Do what is honest, just, peaceful, and in the best interest of all. After you tell the "other person" how to proceed, do it!

affirmation: let me get out of the way of the process

Sometimes just writing it out helps. When I feel myself piling things on and in my head I need to take personal inventory on what is real and what I feel. Sometimes what I feel isn't real and what is real I don't feel.

ah, yes ... "let me get out of the way of the process" ..... how true, certainly not easy, and yet very very true ....

Hi Jim:) We detach little by little. We cannot climb the mountain all at once so don't be too hard on yourself. Choose small things that you can let go of, and work from there. When you feel overwhelmed with feelings, write them down.
List the pros and cons of your feeling and write out your alternatives. It keeps the mind busy and at the same time, the impulsive feelings will pass....

Great on the TaeKwonDo!!!! That is really great. I don't have great health so maybe for my age I could kick cans!!! LOL

You will be okay. Have you thought about the book Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. GREAT READ:)

Keep us posted. It will get better. I promise....
EllaBlue