Congratulations for going to your first meeting. I hope you find the stregnth you are looking for. In regards to your mum have you checked out services provided by your local council for the elderly and care givers alike. There will be assistance and respite available for you.
I wish you well during this difficult time.

I know how you feel, I got rid of mine 17 yrs ago. and I'm sill spinning in circles. good luck at your meeting. I haven't found one yet I guess the pain isn't bad enough yet

Congratulations on taking this first step! Good for you. Another program you may wish to check out is Co-Dependents Anonymous. That also deals with codependency. I attend both Al-Anon and CoDA and have for many years and that has changed my life! I am nowhere near perfect, but today I stay out of confusion most of the time, because I can recognize when I am thinking codependently and with the help of the programs, I don't engage in the codependent behavior nearly so often. Good for you!!

Thank you all for the kindness and support. I was raised in alcholic family maried one, and am so afraid of any relationship as I don't want to go there anymore. I had to leave X after 14 years and just fell right back into it with my Mom. When I realized what was happening I felt like such a screw up.

Had a situation where I had to ask for help, I sked my Mom who said she would help ,BUT!!! she would be bored and I would have to get her home the next day, I was going thru a surgery where I wouldn't be able to do take her home , so I said don't bother, I'll take care of myself. I did but am so disappointed that she couldn't help without her controlling the situation. Tried to talk to her about it she says "What our never happy" and she was right!!!

I have to figure out how to be ahppy again...
Thanks again...

Congratulations campy for being so brave. I can't wait to "hear" about your first meeting...do share girl.

I began my journey in 1987 and I promise you, dealing with your codependency (and child abuse issues) will give you back your life and then some.

I'm excited for you Campy.... share your experience when you can...thanks

Al-anon is a great program and it works as long as you allow it to. You should try 6 different meetings if you can. That was suggestged to me, and I found one I felt at home at. I could not believe how much it helps to have a place where people know and understand what you are going thru, or have gone thru. There is usually someone there that can always relate. When you can get the books like courage to change, one day at a time, and even hope for today. the daily readings are very good. I hope you find that it helps. I have been a greatful member for 10 years. I too have grown up in an alcoholic home and then married an alcoholic. It was a friend who suggested to me I should try them. I am I went. I go regularly. Usually 1-2 times a week. It helped me learn to focus on me, which is not a selfish idea, as that was what I always thought.

Meeting went well,it was a large group.20 or so. I have to say that just the opening of meeting seemed to take forever. But once it got going it was better our leaders subject was the AH HA moment that you knew you had to do something.So many had similar stories, I creid when I spoke but they supported me thru , I seem to cry when every I let things come up, so I walk around with my protective shell on, I got to take it off for a momnet and I realized how rtuly heavy its weighing on me. I'm going back, but am loking for maybe a smaller maybe womens group.
Also, muct say my counsler was super supportive, we hadn't really touched on my Co Dependence until this week. So all in All I would say a Good start.
Thanks Again

You're awesome campy and you give me the kick in the ass to get to a meeting. I haven't been going like I should.

They always say it's the newcomer that will lead us and after reading your stories, I see that's true.

I too cried each and every time I shared in a meeting.....18 years of crying or not sharing because of it, so thanks for letting me know I'm not alone.

I did, however, because of the panic and fear I have/had about sharing, began seeing a therapest last September and started taking Prozac for PTSD. Coupled with the counseling, where I get alot of deep crap out that I don't want to reveal in meetings, and the prozac (which I refused to even consider for 20 years) I am doing SSSOOOO much better.

But I do need to hit a meeting tomorrow and I will, thanks to your sharing....keep us posted!!! I want to hear what you think about a women's group, if you find one...