So my nephew, bless his heart....wrote an email addressing the family (Me, my sister, her husband and my mom). I had written in my journal about it....it really ticked me off and got me amped late into the evening which resulted in me being off kilter for work the next day. The gist of the email was basically saying that My mom, myself, my sister and her husband were all poor communicators and it was starting to affect his sister and not him, but he was wanting us to reach out to his sister.

Well I responded and basically said I was not participating in co-dependency and that while I appreciated the attempt, if his sister had problems with my communication she would need to go ahead and reach out to me directly to discuss.

Well it was about a week later and now I have received the 'dun dun dunnnnn" email from my sister. My sister is notorious for being the "holier than thou", tell everyone off person in the family. She all but eliminated my mom and I from her life and over the course of 25 years and my mom has gone thru complete HELL about it with her screaming over the phone, silencing her, and she took my niece and nephew across the country and basically allowed no contact.

Over the last 25 years we have made some futile attempts at having a sisterhood, to the most recent incident which was me flying to go to my nieces wedding and her and I have what I thought were good heart to hearts. It felt like we were bonding. Well I am not exempting myself from being a bad communicator, I lack consistency. But I didn't feel like I was out and out being disrespectful and that I was rebuffing major attempts made towards me by my sister and that I was out and out ignoring her. In fact, her emails typically consisted of vague references of me, you tube video's of a song to me, and news paper articles she found interesting. But nothing where she was pouring her heart out on paper to me and I wasn't responding.

So I was planning on visiting her in Florida, and then I get an email that said that she didn't like my communication (and worded like I killed a baby-I am just giving you the idea) and she had problems with it for years.....Gulp! Wait a second you mean to tell me you are now brining this up right before I am about to fly to see you, and be trapped with you and your family?? Further, didn't think it necessary to bring up when you had seen me at your daughters wedding (since it was years of having this issue)....AND THEN THE KICKER....you copied your husband on our emails without me knowing!!! Uhhh ya. Feeling boundaries crossed, red flags burst into air, and I was like WTF I am not going to Florida.

Well that ceased our communication, she got all butthurt about it, I was grossed out by her and that was that.

Well now besides ripping her kids apart in her response to my nephew's email, and in a way that I feel I have lost all respect (no mother should talk to her kids that way, further throw them under the bus like that...I am calling it "her eating her young")

But then she decided it was open season and called me full of shit and started laying into me. Well I was seriously going to loose my marbles on her. I have a tendency to gravitate towards fight or flight....I will fight...but it is usually better for me to flight or I will hit to the marrow and typically say things that I won't necessarily regret but are so truthful it is almost crushing. It is not a redeeming quality but just how my brain and self operates when someone wants to try and "truth" me out. So now I sit with this email.........do I respond? Can I be brutally honest back? Do I just do nothing? Do I just walk away knowing I dodged the bullet?? What next??? So confused, I wish I could say I was hurt, but I expect nothing less from her....I guess I just want to let her know....if she thought there would be any chance in hell we would have contact that email sealed the deal that I want absolutely nothing to do with her toxic ways........uggh. Family, you can't pick 'em.