yes. we need to feel them in order to let them go. otherwise they get stuck.

something that has been helpful to me is the slogan "feelings aren't facts".

i realize so much of my negative feelings come from obsessing about my bf and projecting my negativity onto his thoughts. projecting my fear for the future onto myself.

sometimes i have caught myself predicting negative outcomes for situations that MIGHT happen in a MONTH.

so, i am trying really hard to live in the now and the reality of now. i just make up negative crap all the time and think my thoughts are valid....these leads to feeling crappy.

thanks for sharing this!

You're in the right place. Go ahead and vent those feelings. Some will censor them; others will encourage them. But go ahead and let them out anyway; damn what others think.

One of the basic things I have learned in the past few weeks, is MY feelings are not right or wrong. THEY ARE MINE. MINE to feel, mine to relish or opinionate on and mine to validate. Although there are plenty of times I feel to blurt out, I realize I may not get the answer or support I am seeking... so I have chosen to keep them in, and deal with them from within.

I have struggled with this as well. I first am learning to trust myself and stop searching others for my truth. Second, I have removed the people from my life who are not supportive. It's made a big impact in the quality of my life. Thank you for your post! Hugs!

Most interesting: "trying to get affirmations"...I think I got that from earlier teachings (parents) using the phrase: "You shouldn't feel that way..."or "You don't want that...". I was taught not to trust my feelings, and that there was some 'book' or 'authority figure' to tell me the correct way to feel. Looking outside to comfirm what I feel inside has led to years of repression, and now I am learning to allow myself to feel what I really felt, not what I was 'expected' to feel in order to make someone else comfortable. Like 'afloat' says, those feelings cannot be disposed of as long as they're in your repressed memory. To admit to yourself how you truthfully felt, WITHOUT judgement, is the path to healing. Although dredging up the past can create more negativity than needed, dealing with your feeling here and now, today, may (MAY!) validate what you are thinking about, what's serious and what's not so serious to think about. It seems that to deny your feelings is to deny yourself, your right to BE who you truly are...unique! (IMHO)

Helpful post. Thanks

Its all interesitng what your are saying guys...however,I still have a huge dilemma, 'should I' or 'shoud I not' trust my own feelings...how can you trust them if they put you in so many disastrous situations:/...I feel I am truly attracted to someone and listen to my heart and 'go for it' just to find out later on that it was the worst ( and I really mean it - The Worst!!) choice I could ever made at that time...when you have this sense that the other person really appreciates you and wants you to be something more ( and you can really feel it in every inch of your body and you feel this intimacy and chemistry between both of you) just to disapear from your life the next day without even a word of explenation...I sooo dont trust myself right now ...Iknow that this is the only way for me to be happy but I am so scared, I was betrayed by my feelings way too often...and I surrounded myself with people who questioned the rightness of my feelings all the time - that doesn't help...oh well, what I want to say (except obvious venting my frustrations;) is that it is soo confusing not knowing within you what is 'the right thing' and where the truth lies...too many times I believed that what my heart and intuition were saying was right...well, It wasn't...and I guess it will take me a long time to learn how can I trust myself again...any thoughts?

Olla, I find that in going through my past I have found reasons for the relationships I picked, or at least most of them anyway. It has meant admitting a lot of things about the way I grew up that I had never acknowledged before that created twisted little "comfort zones". I don't have full trust of myself, but I take baby steps and build my confidence just a little bit at a time. This is what works for me.

I'm behind you on that one.