Hi, iam sorry u r feeling alone I dont have much to offer on the subject, but do know what u r going threw, and that getting better depends on the individual.One thing I do know is the more time u give yourself away from him to think and feel and breath the better chance that it will get better.please try to give ur self some more time away maybe it would help both of u to heal.

You could be writing my story about 6 weeks ago exactly. I also was involved with an addict and I also set boundaries and eventually walked away. From my experience, it was agonizing to detach at first- partly due to how sprung I was on him and partly because I was so worried about the outcome of his drug use. Now, I have learned more about myself in the last month than I ever have. Like yours, my addict was so sweet most of the time and he did not want to help himself. What I have learned is that I cannot fix him and I would not be happy until he is fixed so our lives intertwined is not likely. I was heartbroken, obsessed and completely lost and lonely at first. I like you had kept things between us very private - mostly because I knew in my gut it was always not right. But what I can tell you- what I have learned about myself by putting myself first has been incredible. I still have days I miss him for sure, but it does get better with time. A really wise friend helped by reminding me that "he is not my last option." Give yourself a break and allow time to heal. It was really helpful for me to stay as busy as i could over the last 6 weeks- even when i was feeling more like crying in bed. i pushed forward and it eventually becomes better each day. You should be proud of yourself for setting and sticking to your boundaries, now you just need to give your heart time to catch up with your mind. Hope that helps you.

thanks for the words of comfort, every bit helps, the suggestion to stay busy is something I will have to do, go out and do positive things and hope that he is healing. Drugs are so horrible, but I guess so is codependency. It sucks that so many people are afflicted with this disease, but I suppose that if you really try, help is out there.

For me the cause of depression or frustration. I was always waiting for the next shoe to drop. You see no matter how well I practiced my Co-Dependency knowledge and wisdom, I couldn't depend on the fact that my partner in the deal was keeping his end. He was using, many times I wasn't even aware of it until it got to a critical stages. (job loss or criminal actions.)

Living and walking a High Wire Act. Making agreements with someone who really wasn't able to make those agreements. I needed to make the agreements with my SELF. I couldn't control his decisions, his choices. I wasn't able to know when he was actually using he was so good at covering them. Eventually the truth would arrive, like a rock. My husband would even pretend to go to counseling. He wasn't, he was using drugs. He would go to meetings, and leave the literature around so that I could find it. Circumstances were not able to cover his acts and lies any longer.

What I learned was to make the Agreement with ME. I can't make agreements with someone who isn't able to help himself. Addiction is a lot more complicated than just making promises. Sometimes the addict as sweet and wonderful as they are, is not able to keep their word over their compulsion.

Staying positive isn't a bad thing, but TRUTH is much more important.
For me, Staying Positve was the way I hid things.
I didn't want the world to know:
1. I HAD PROBLEMS!
2. My Husband had an addiction
3. Our life together wasn't perfect.
I even got married and didn't tell anyone for 6 months. I didn't want to hear peoples comments about marrying an addict. That didn't save him, or get him to stop using either. Two weeks after our marriage I was going to a police statiion to bail him out.